Idk if yall will believe me but this is so fr, he’s literally asleep in my room rn as I type this, and im still so embarrassed and turned on and idk what else to do but write 😭

I met this guy on tinder, technically on new years bc I didn’t want to go to this party alone, so was swiping a good bit but we didn’t get to message til after midnight and everything. I was a lil bit still tipsy after the party and lil disappointed having not had anyone to spend nye with, so I agreed when he suggested we hang out at my place tomorrow, just to cuddle and watch movies, since he worked literally 10 min away. ik it stupid to invite strangers to ur house, esp when u have a vagina but 1. Don’t play u would too if they were cute and he was so cute, and 2. Dw I fucking paid for it

So the guy come over around six and at first it’s chill, I can tell he’s bit of a harlot but he also seems so nice, like genuinely appreciative of me offering to make us food, and inviting him over and all. Takes off his shoes at the door and everything, so respectful. And he’s even cuter in person. We eat a bit and chat in the kitchen while I make snacks and he picks room over living room to chill and watch movies. first sign things we’re not actually going be be cuddling, but again he was pretty and nice so I’m down. He teases me for not getting close immediately and ngl I’m blushing and shit and def play into it, ending up basically in top of him, laptop on his lap, him pulling me on top of everything over part of him. We get 10 minutes in before the absentminded stroking slides under the waistband of my pants, we’re kissing and moving shit to the side and he’s so good and then- shit all starts to turn and he pulls out his cock. It’s fucking massive. Like, I’m 5 ft 2, shit was most of my forearm. I’m nervous bc I haven’t stretched bc part of me figured he wouldn’t be into me, and it would just be cuddles- so I do my best to just suck the fuck out of it first. I can barely get like, maybe half if it really in, and worse, embarrassingly, he has to ask for less teeth once or twice. I felt so fucking bad bc he was so sweet and I just, I had never had to do it’s much but then he was smiling, reassuring me, and fucking slapping me across the face with his soaking wet cock.

I was so stunned I didn’t do a thing and he proceeded to take the back of my head and slam and rub his cock up all and down my face, over and over I couldn’t even breathe, it was all just precum and spit and then hair and balls😖 repeat x infinity. I could stop him, I knew I probably could, but I- I wanted to make up for fucking up. He flipped me over started to spread my legs and now I knew I had to stop things, I wasn’t on birth control, I didn’t have a condom, he understood. His hand was on my ass. “Can I fuck your ass then?” I told him it had to be so slow, I hadn’t prepared at all, general warning & shit. He was fine w it and I made him turn away as I bent over and tried my best to quickly apply lube as ah, needed. I ended up on all fours before him but it was no good, I forced myself not to make noise and bit down on the pain until it felt like I actually might split in half and apologized again profusely. It was so embarrassing he was so nice. He asked again, leaning over me, are you sure you can’t do it? I’ll pull out- and I was like fuck it. I really wanted him to like me 😖 I almost never have anyone even touch there, I prefer to give than get bc the gender dysphoria but I was on my back, ankles crossed behind his in seconds. It felt crazy, more painfil than anything but also kinda good. Then he started talking- “look me in my face while I fuck you” grabbing my arm away as I tried to cover my face out of embarrassment, of being so, idk, utterly fucked and used and everything. He made me hold eye contact and he fucking SMILED as he speed up and said “I’m gonna put it all in now” BITCH WHAT? Was that not all- and fuck it wasn’t. It hurt so much worse and not any of it felt good expcept- the embarrassment? The way he was just using me and making me focus during it?? Idk, but shit was not over, I took as much as I could and as soon as I started squirming he pulled out. I was about to apologize again when he went from missionary over me to kneeling over either side of shoulders. I looked up. He smiled again. And suddenly my half open lips were kissing balls. His cock slapped over my face as he picked it up and slapped it down over and over. “Put my fucking balls in your mouth” no insult. No question. I knew he felt he didn’t need to. He knew how fucking degrading this was. He knew I was too shy to say shit. And I cringed, and hated myself, and opened my mouth. “He waited til he had fully filled my mouth before

“Now say thank you for letting me suck your balls daddy”

My stomach fully dropped out. I had never done anything like this, def not irl. I whimpered the words and he laughed as it came out pathetically and garbled. “Yeah you fucking love that don’t you? Such an adorable little bitch” that stung too, it’s what he had been calling me all day. I felt like the world’s biggest loser, and he could tell. He loved it. He made me stuff them in myself, over and over as he like, rutted and jacked off. Right before he came, he picked himself up a little, adjusted and, and yeah. Did what your thinking, and probably hoping and god I hope not laughing at too hard- sat fully on my face. Ass to unfortunately open mouth 😖 I could hear something like “lick it bitch” and did. Bc I was so fucking broken by that point. I still am. He rode me til he came, pulling back to make sure he hit my face that was seeing light for the first time in fucking minutes, and I lost any, if any dignity I had left. He smiled, and suddenly it was all “normal again” compliments and getting me a towel and pulling me in for cuddles after showering, as if he didn’t just make me do the most humiliating things one can do to another person. He’s fast asleep now, still in my bed bf it’s late, and I’m in the living room bc wtffff- idk what I want from any of this but if yall enjoy it, that’s something from it ig 😭 I literally have no one else to tell. Maybe I just wanna a reality check to know just how embarrassing this was- but idk if I want the answer to be oh your def a loser we’re all laughing (kinda hot but there’s no way I can live knowing any of that or being laughed at for it turns me on) or nah it’s not that bad bc omfg it definitely feels bad lmaooooo