When I was 21 I dated a 22yo woman briefly who had a fantasy she wanted to fulfill.

At this point in my life my sex life was by no means vanilla, but I had not dabbled in domination or rough play very much.

My sexual interactions with my gf up to this point were pretty straightforward. Some public sex was the most exotic thing we'd done.

She had started asking me to get rougher with her. Choking, light slapping, tossing her around, eventually she started wanting me to choke her and spit in her mouth while we had sex.

This was all new to me. I had mixed feelings to most of it.

She confided in me one day that she had a rape fantasy. She asked me to fulfill her fantasy for her. At first I was not on board. Based off of some past experiences of mine I was not comfortable with it. So she dropped it.

A few days later she mentions it again. Instead of shutting the conversation down, I asked questions. How would it work? Is this what she really wanted? What are the boundaries? What happens if we get uncomfortable in the middle of this arrangement? Things like that...

She expressed how much she wanted this. I eventually agreed. But I had stipulations.

The raw plan was that she'd leave the door unlocked one night. I would sneak in. I would take her in the dark. Then I would leave.

I said that I would only do it if I let her know it was me, she would give me a cue that it was okay to proceed, and we would have a safe word if things needed to stop. BTW our safe word was papaya... I was eating a papaya snow cone as we planned it out.

This was the final plan. She would leave the door unlocked on a specific evening. Then she would put a red piece of paper in her window so I knew that the plan was a go. I would come inside during a specific time window (9 and 11). I'd go to her bedroom and say "stay quiet and you won't get hurt"... she would respond with a nod to let me know she wanted to move forward with it. Then I would take her and leave.

The night came. I wasn't supposed to be there until 9 but I waited in the parking lot early. After all she was leaving her door unlocked and I didn't want someone to really sneak in.

At 9pm I saw her lift the blinds, tape a piece of red paper in her window, close the blinds, and torn the light off.... I got really nervous. Thought about backing out.

I waited about 20 more minutes and went inside quietly. I walked to her bedroom door and undressed to my underwear. I opened the door and crept inside.

There was just enough ambient light shining in from the streetlight through the blinds that I could make out the room.

I saw her laying on the bed in a prone position with her back towards me. Covered from the armpit down by a sheet and a woven blanket.

I eased over to the bed. I pulled the covers down and put my hands on her mouth and said "stay quiet and you won't get hurt". She looked at me and nodded. That was my cue to proceed.

I kept my hand on her mouth with my forearm on her neck while I groped her breasts and rubbed her body with my other hand. Her back still to me, I reached around her hips and pulled her panties down. I rubbed on her pussy and slipped a finger inside her. She was so wet... I pulled my finger out and wiped her juices on her pussy lips.

I lean in close. My breath on her neck and ear. My weight pressed against her. I slipped two fingers inside her. She grunted. I got hard. Really hard. I wasn't sure if I would because this was her fantasy, not mine... but I did.

I pulled my fingers out and rubbed her wetness on the head of my cock. I pushed down on her ass I pushed my cock inside her. She grunted again. That was all it took. I started to fuck her hard.

She pushed back against me. I hesitated. She didn't say the safe word so I slapped her ass and started fucking her harder.

I grabbed her and said "roll over and look at me bitch" (another predetermined line) and I flipped her over onto her back. I gripped her throat with my left hand. My right hand exploring her body. One second is gripping her tits, the next I'm rubbing her wet pussy while I fuck her, the next I'm shoving my fingers into her mouth.

She grunting and starting to moan with each thrust.

Pumping hard now my sweat is dropping into her face. Still gripping her throat and touching her face. She's grunting and pushing against me hard now. I can't take it. I erupt inside her. Cumming deep and hard as she's writhing under my motion.

After releasing inside her I get up without saying a word.

I grab my clothes, slip them on, and walk out.

I sit in my car for a bit. A whirlwind of emotions. Feeling good. Feeling wrong. Feeling some kind of way. As I sit there in the dark I see her light turn on inside her apartment. She pulls the blinds and stares out of her window. I'm pretty sure she didn't see me, but I definitely saw her. She was smiling.

That made me feel better.

She removed the piece of paper from the window and closed her blinds.

I drove home.

We didn't have cell phones, this was in the late 90s, so I would just have to wait to talk to her about it which made the 15 minute drive home feel like an eternity.

I got to my apartment and saw the answering machine blinking.

On the machine was one message... "the most amazing thing just happened. Don't call me. Just come over when you get this message. Doesn't matter how late".