We pretty much always have good sex, we listen to each other what we both like and that works really well. But yesterday and today i got distracted during it. The day before it was a clanging noise in the heating element, i explained to her it was the neighbors, happens in other rooms too, no clue why they do it. And today well, there's this post that explains it but is too long. https://old.reddit.com/r/AutisticWithADHD/comments/1g83nfz/i_am_forgetful_and_so_dumb_that_i_have_to_write/? She got turned off. We talked about it, we're good at that whenever other things happen, it is one of our strengths as a couple. Has worked every time before worked that day too.

But TL;DR: I need notes on my phone to remember and organize everything in my life. I am very dumb and forgetful due to ADHD. I have been itching, like i can not relax because there's a nagging thought in my head to remind me to write down X and Y so i can remember later. I can not relax until i have written it down. In this case it was a photo of a thing i found today so i could remember to send it to a person to ask what it is. I figured i could get it done quickly when i was in the direction of the bathroom so my mind could be at peace. Either way, i promised yesterday it would not happen again. But i forgot again today, it turned her off. She cried a lot for an hour, asked if it was her fault if i find her boring etc but i find her as exciting as ever. And i said many many times i was sorry it was my fault because yeah it was fucking my fault im a dumb fucking moron who broke a promise i hate having ADHD.

We could not talk this one out. We'll probably figure it out later but it makes me feel like shit because i hurt her, and she hasn't cried so much as the time she tried to reduce her depression meds. She's back on them now but she cried even more than before. Like the snap of a finger. I hurt her and i'm a horrible person.

So yeah how do you not get distracted... I hurt her deeply now. Sex is supposed to be fun... She has a lot of anxiety, and she has been without it for a long time but it flares up a lot when she gets sad. And the worst part is adrenaline makes me calm as fuck while she is crying her eyes out, she suffers while i am fucking calm as a rock, that's just wrong.