I've (60F) been dating a man (69) for a few months. I adore him and we have fun with his main kink rope bondage. He's fun and smart and very worth dating. His challenge is that he's divorced after decades of marriage in a very repressive religious environment. She was his first and only lover and between that and the religious shame surrounding sex, he never really learned how to be a good lover. I'm wondering if I could teach him (assuming he's willing to learn of course, which I will discuss with him).

He does turn me on, to begin with, both because of great physical chemistry and also because I find his kink to be very hot. Some examples of the issues I've noticed: he doesn't seem to know how to hold his weight on his arms when on top so he smashes the breath out of me; while his passion is fantastic, he forgets himself and grinds kisses into me which can hurt; he's shy about asking for what he wants or discussing what I would like in bed; he's internalized the idea that oral sex is gross; etc. I wonder if I can address these and teach him better WITHOUT adding to his existing sense of shame and self consciousness.

Have any older folks attempted this and succeeded? If you're an older man in his shoes, how should I approach you with this so that it doesn't kill your already fragile self esteem (the complex combination of body shame and manliness/masculinity, not to mention age-related ED)?