i am in an open marriage. a married ex-lover who i am really into, reinitiated contact. he told me his situation is non-traditional, while functioning in a conventional bourgeois family structure. we are long distance and we have mind blowing rough consensual sex where he is more in the dominating position.

Issue is, i am unable to decode if he is is playing or dealing with some internal struggle at being non-monogamous, which he projects on me. i have explicitly told him that he needs to tell me if he is not interested - he says "i wouldn't be here if i didn't want this."

he asked me if sex was important for me, and i said yes, while also assuring him about the value of his friendship and presence in my life.

some examples: just before and after sex, he brings up the names of other women who idk if he is sleeping with, but i do know he has friendships or prior relationships with.

he has told me not to be sexual in our chats, and i have respected that and stopped. he steers conversations into innuendo, and if i engage, he rejects my words. he rejects my gifts, little things like audiobooks or music albums. i give to all my friends, not just him and i've told him this.

when i try to talk to him about the imbalance in our communication, he says "i do what i want". i have also outright asked him if he was trying to fade me out, and he says no.

he asks me direct questions if i have other partners like him (i don't and said so). if i ask him the same, he says "i won't tell you."

is this some sort of power or humiliation game? could it be that he feels guilty about being in a relationship outside marriage and projects the guilt on me? could he be afraid of his emotions towards me?

Thanks for reading!

TL;DR: partner is sending very mixed signals. is it a game? or is he projecting internal strife?