Sex was my hobby, my sport, my purpose, my identity, my life. Now that I'm in recovery (2 years), I feel lost a.f. I don't know who I am anymore. My motivation to do anything in the past was based around sex, so now I don't feel motivated to do anything. And when I say anything, I mean it.

I ate healthy so I'd look and feel good.....to have sex; I exercised to look and feel good, and to have stamina.....for sex; I shopped so I'd have clothes and lingerie that would lure men in.....for sex; I read non-fiction books about sexuality so I'd sound smart and educated.....about sex; I read fiction books about sex to turn myself on and find inspiration for future shenanigans; I watched porn to turn myself on and find inspiration for future shenanigans; I kept my appearance (hair, nails, waxing) in check.....for sex; I dated only for sex and now when I go on a date, it's crickets in my mind because I don't know what to talk about or lead with; I had a job that I loved because it allowed me to get away with overtly flirting; I attended kink events, porn festivals, sexual seminars; etc, etc, etc.

Recovered me has no motivation to eat healthy, exercise, look good, attend events, read, watch anything on a screen, go to work, get out bed. I am literally rotting. My confidence and self-esteem have gone from 100 to 0, and I don't know what to do about it. I am in therapy, but I'm curious if anyone else went through this and how you managed to cope and find your new purpose and identity.