I’m someone who has just come to the realization that I may have a sex addiction.

It took a lot of effort to not surf porn on my phone and take the time to write this post, so here we are.

I’ve watched any and every kind of porn since I was 12 and have masturbated almost every day (and sometimes multiple times a day) since I was 11-12 years old. I always thought I was curious about different sexual activities but I think it was just a way to get a newer high or release. I tried everything I could by myself by age 15, all the while thinking it was just curiosity.

I now have a beautiful, supportive wife who has stood by me through some very difficult stages in my life. I don’t think I could love someone as much as I love my wife. However, that still doesn’t stop me from engaging in activities to get a rush or a sense of thrill or release.

Since I’ve been with my wife, I keep bringing up newer sexual fantasies that I want to try out together. We both have very different sex drives, mine being higher, but she still engages in things I like every now and then just to please me. She’s a bit vanilla in bed, so to speak, but I keep expecting more when we do have sex (which is usually determined by her desire. I’ve never pressured or forced her if she wasn’t into it).

Since we’ve been together, I’ve watched porn, posted my nudes online, sex chatted with folks online, been to group masturbation parties with other men, and constantly try to find newer ways of engaging in sexual activities, all while she is oblivious to what I’m doing. I’ve never paid for sex, and indulging in these activities hasn’t affected my personal life or work yet, but I feel like if I don’t stop or fix my behavior, I might end up costing the one relationship that is the most important to me.

I cannot talk to my wife or anyone else about this because it will absolutely crush them, but I feel like I need help in overcoming this, if this can be called sex addiction. I really want to get better and am willing to try everything it takes!

I would really appreciate strategies or habits that have worked for other folks that may be able to help me too.