Day ten of full abstinence. I told myself that I'd be fully abstinent until I get a sponsor and talk with him about my inner circle behaviors. I have hit that milestone, but it seemed almost glancing in our interactions about it. He said to focus less on the thoughts and more on the actions. Which is awesome advice because it's a definitive line I can draw. But I worry that thoughts will turn into, "well, it's only once" or "you've gone ten days, now is totally fine. It's not excessive if it's only once." I've spent so much time following my gut and it's led me to here.

I was so scared when I realized my addiction I felt like I lied to myself, so I want outside confirmation of what is inner circle vs what is middle circle. Which, writing it out reminds me that it is a PERSONAL choice and that no one else can ACTUALLY tell me what is inner vs outer circle. Plus, my sponsor hasn't ever met me before he's not going to know me as well as I do or rather, as well as I should.

I guess what I'm trying to think through is that I do need to take care of things, but I want to make sure that I'm doing so in a healthy non-compulsive way.