Struggling today with coming to terms that she’s really gonna bad it’s completely my fault for acting out after doing really well for over 2 years and allowing porn to creep back in and then sexting somebody else.

It shouldn’t hurt like this because I caused this to happen by not having enough discipline and determination to actually keep my head together.

It hurts to see that there’s no shortage of people that would easily replace me and I feel like I’m just acting like a simp by trying to make up for past actions and trying the pick me dance when I’m the one who wrecked our relationship with my addiction to attention and sexting.

It gives me literally pain in my chest when I think about not being at her side but I can see she’s doing better without me and I would prefer her happy than being stuck with me as an anchor bringing her down.

Trying to find some peace in my head but really struggling atm.