For context: I am a 30 year old male in the US with a job the requires a lot of socialization with people of all ages and many different walks of life. I am single and have been for most of my life save for a handful of very short lived romantic relationships. Being the introverted type, the job does come with some struggles and my own personal social life is admittedly lacking in overall substance. I will also add that I’m on the spectrum so it is possible that the experiences I describe could be a result of my neurodivergence and the upbringing I’ve had because of it.

I’m great at my job. My clientele and employers adore me. It’s very rare that whenever I walk in to a room of familiar faces that I’m not greeted at the very least cordially, if not warmly. However, in spite of the overtly positive reactions to people I interact with (both socially and professionally) I find myself not being able to “connect” with the people around me even on my best days.

Without going in to the usual “feeling alone in a room full of people” stories, what I actually want is a frame of reference for how I “should” feel when surrounded by people who are about me and enjoy my company.

So my ultimate question is: What is the experience of feeling connected to others in a way that makes socializing and going out with people enjoyable and pleasurable?