So I have an odd habit/tendency. I will admit that I cut, but not out of depression or anxiety or as any form of coping mechanism. I numb the area with ice, so the pain doesn't even make me wince. I just like to watch myself bleed. I know it sounds odd or may concern some people, but I assure you it's never deep enough to leave a permanent scar and the wound itself heals within a few days. I have two questions:

1.) How can I hide this from my family? The cuts themselves are on my upper thighs(yes I know about the major artery on the inner thigh, I'm careful to never cut there.) so the cuts themselves are never visible, but I'm afraid my family may see blood stainson my underwear(sometimes they do my laundry for me), get concerned, force me to see a therapist for depression that I don't have. I normally wear red underwear that hides the blood pretty well after a wash but I only have one pair, most of the rest is white or blue, and I doubt blood will come out from a simple wash. How can I keep it from staining my boxers?

2.) Are there any better numbing methods than ice? It does a decent job, but it's not perfect. I don't want to use chemicals because if my family finds it, then how do I explain away the vial of lido- or novocaine hiding under my bed/in my closet? Are there better numbing methods than ice?