Over time, doing semen retention, and working on myself, my views have changed.

When you make a post about "ohhh women looked at me, ohh someone asked for my number," what is the point of that?

Do you want to date her? If so, then sex? If sex, then love? If love, then do you eventually want to break her heart and move on to someone else to continue to placate your pride, to puff up your self image? Have you ever been in love, do you know what that's like?

Or, maybe, with SR, you are after loveless, meaningless, boring, shitty sex.

Or, with SR, maybe you want the sex love, and if so I ask--what next? Heart break or marriage? How many hearts do you want to break, how many times to break your own before you feel okay about yourself?

Because it ends one of two ways. Heart break with marriage or without it. To me, over time, marriage begins to look more and more like the only responsible way to deal with the matter--if it's to be dealt with at all.

I've only been through one heart break, and it was difficult for an entire year to move forward after that. Not that it wasn't the right decision, I just had this long lingering... guilt? Over breaking up with her.

She loved me so much, she wanted to get married and have kids (even though the relationship was not compatible or working--which was why I broke up with her).

It's not easy my friends.

Would I say not to do it?

No. I'm just saying, count the cost.

A girl looked at you. Woo hoo. First time, huh.

Happens enough times, someone wants to date you, then what? If they want to get married, they're going to want kids.

I guess I just.. it wasn't until recently that I started to see where attraction leads eventually.... to kids.

This is nature's way.

My main point is this, if you are playing with attraction, understand what it is you are playing with.

Are you looking to pad your ego by your body count? If so, SR is probably not the practice for you. SR will deepen your heart, your life, your appreciation of beauty and your connection to Spirit, God, all of life, or whatever it is you connect to. If you want to get laid, I would recommend the gym and becoming a lawyer or a stock broker. Women love to sleep with men with high earning potential (why? High quality baby raising potential). These are things I've noticed over time, it's not that complicated.

Over time I've seen that lots of women seem to want something if you sleep with them--if not feel entitled to it or demand it. You get demonized if you don't give it. Whether that's a relationship, marriage, kids, whatever. Whose side will society take? Hers, a woman's, or yours, who fucked her and now she's unhappy.

Look, don't play with fire and get surprised when you get burned. A burn is $330,000 per child you're going to be raising to adulthood.

Don't be surprised when you find out why the human race is still going on--to this day.

With my ex, I never could imagine having kids. But one time, the sex was so good, I understood. I understood somehow, I could see it--this is why people want to get married, have a family. It made sense.

Did I want to do it, actually? No. But why am I playing with fire, when I haven't counted the cost?

After that run-in, maybe I'm jaded, but I see things a bit differently. I watch the men that particular women go for, and how, and why. What do they want out of it, how do they get it.

I've had women tell me how easy it can be to manipulate men. The more you learn about yourself, your own sex drive, the easier it is to see this.

Nowadays when a woman appears attracted to me, I ask myself... what does she want?

If she wants you for external appearances, she'll drop you like a flat tire the moment they show signs of weakness. Shallow women will rip your heart out, throw it on the ground, stomp on it, laugh at you, tell all your friends you're a p*****, and never look back.

Two songs that display how easily manipulated men are by sex

Recently I was looking through the Spotify top charts globally. Two of the top 3 songs globally as I'm publishing this demonstrate exactly this phenomenon: How easy it is for women to manipulate men who are slaves to sex.

Not only do they know it, but they can broadcast to millions if not billions of people that they know it, and it won't even put a chink in the armor. See Espresso, by Sabrina Carpenter:

"Oh, he looks so cute wrapped 'round my finger"

You think it is your ego you are boosting? Honey, she probably heard your ego coming from miles away, knew it inside and out after talking to you for 4 seconds. It's likely not yours that's being served here, if anyone's.

Please Please Please by the same artist talks about how she doesn't really care if the guy is transmuting his demons, would rather just have them out of sight: she wants someone who will look pretty on a shelf:

I heard that you're an actor, so act like a stand-up guy

Whatever devil's inside you, don't let him out tonight

...

Heartbreak is one thing, my ego's another
I beg you, don't embarrass me, motherfucker, oh
Please, please, please (Ah)

Of course, the song is tongue in cheek, but I wouldn't say it's ironic. There are many people who are genuinely in relationships like this, and it's what can happen if you follow your wee wee, not your brain and heart through life. You end up half or a quarter developed, in a relationship following the woman's dreams for babies and picket fences. She's not concerned about your growth, your potential--she's concerned about stability. And goo-goo gah gah.

I experienced this first hand. It's why I ended that relationship.

It took me a while to realize it, but women have desires, drives, dreams too. Often theirs are shut down due to society. Sometimes perhaps there are things they seek in their relationships with men, just as men do through women. (Smells like codependency if you ask me).

On sex addiction

One thing that helped me, was to read the beginning of this book on sex addiction. Going Deeper: How the Inner Child Impacts Your Sexual Addiction. In it, I realized, that my endless compulsion for sex, which drove me to semen retention--it probably came from a deep childhood wound.

As I explored what that wound might be, I eventually came to loneliness. I believe this is a common one.

Being able to articulate that wound, has allowed me to remove shame from it, as well as it has allowed me to imagine the possibility of healing from it.

I no longer have to seek wholeness in a woman or endless sex--which for so long seemed like the only way I could find it.

Sex is a tool--it seems to be best for making babies. Or developing a lifelong partnership. Not for healing oneself.

"The victim who is able to articulate the situation of the victim has ceased to be a victim: he or she has become a threat." - James Baldwin.

I understand that maybe chasing women is a part of growing up for many. A part of developing self esteem (?), or trying to, a part of wanting to see oneself as a contributing member of the human race, one capable of reproducing perhaps.

But the reality is, I think self esteem comes from a much deeper place than that. In fact, it seems to me that attraction from women is a by product of such self esteem, and not the other way around. (Unless we are talking about women who only want you for your muscles or how many orgasms you can give them, or your bank account, or your social status, or whatever it is you think they want).

Love is something different. It seems to me to be the ultimate.

The question is, do you need to go through women to get it? (no).

Or, is it a part of your life path that you are consciously choosing, after counting the cost, to go through with, to love and potentially marry and have children with a woman or break her heart?

Bob Marley said, “The biggest coward is a man who awakens a woman's love without the intention of loving her."

If you are finding yourself through women, I ask that you find yourself first--or at the very least treat the women you are with, with love. If you are going to break up with them, if you only dated them for selfish reasons, own it. Be real about it. Take accountability. Try to come to a place where you're not seeking sex out of compulsion.

And then, if you want to be with a woman, count the cost. Decide what you want.

Nothing wrong with dating around. But with sex, lots of emotions get involved, fast. I'm just saying, with some experience, I understand why they preach the no sex before marriage thing. Maybe not everyone's as sensitive to it as I am, or maybe a lot of people are lying to themselves. I'm not sure.

But I do believe that playing with the sparks of love for egoic reasons can become very dangerous indeed.

So when you post here, about how a woman looked at you, or hit on you, or complimented your muscles or something, maybe ask yourself... why? Why am I reporting this on a semen retention sub? What is my goal here.

For me, over time, I think a monastic or single/celibate life seems to call more. I really like the idea of just expressing my energy in the highest ways I can. I don't want to have kids, so I don't want to drag a woman along when I'm not willing to compromise.

Overall, when it comes to women, try to think of more than just yourself.

I understand as well, what it is to be young and to make mistakes. I do wonder at times if I have become jaded or wise. But you do not have to make the same mistakes we did, when we can look back and tell you they were mistakes. Then again, maybe you do. I just share what I have seen here. Hopefully someone can benefit.

What I have seen is this:--sex and ego don't mix well. Sex can easily lead to love, something that is beyond petty selfish desires. If it's about love--which is the most important thing--the numbers, the approval, they don't matter. Doing what's 1000% best for the other person, for other people is what matters. Not being reckless is what matters. Not bucking out and quitting when she gets cancer or stretch marks is what matters. Counting the cost is what matters. When you're comparing to love, the women that look at you in the supermarket are, most likely, little more than distractions.

No one cares how many women looked at Albert Einstein in the supermarket bro. Contribute something to the world.