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For myself, I was born and raised in Washington and have been local to King County for about 6 years now. I’m 32 years old, in shape, good income for a single non-tech bro, and a plethora of hobbies…yet I feel completely invisible here as a brown guy haha.
I’ve tried all the dating apps, joined Facebook and meetup groups, went to popular bars, dance clubs like Century Ballroom and Forum Social House with friends, picked up bouldering at SBP, and nothing seems to work. I even love all the typical PNW outdoorsy stuff like paddle boarding on Greenlake and playing volleyball on Alki. Despite this, I haven’t even been able to go on a simple first date in almost 2 years now. Maybe there’s just something wrong with me, I don’t know.
I feel like it’s so hard to just fit into or join a new social circle without being ghosted or them wanting to actually hang out outside of said events without flaking.
Idk what else to do except just move to an entire different state, just for the sole purpose at a chance of dating. 🤷🏽♂️
It was so hard adjusting to people diverting their gaze when you’re waving or saying hi. Was pretty awkward the first few times that happened
I think it’s also maybe a mindset thing? There’s a chance that the positive experience in Portland made you feel more warm and open afterwards which helped it happen again. When you make eye contact with someone in seattle and you’re thinking “there’s far fewer openings” I can just picture that the vibe you give off may be different as well.
I think it’s fair game to chat with people at a bar, just be ready for rejection and go into it with an ease (like be ready to leave the spot if you can tell it isn’t the vibe for them). I think looking away isn’t rejection btw- maybe they were shy and flustered cause they got caught staring :)
Women are more choosy. I can count the number of times on one hand I was able to match with a woman not just looking for a unicorn.
I’d say really devote time to prioritizing in person stuff. A more organic start is powerful in a relationship anyway. If apps are a must, I’d say OkCupid
Yeah nyc is a man’s playground. Don’t think I’d wanna date there lol
Social dance, pottery class, yoga class
In person isn’t weird. The biggest thing a guy approaching a woman respectfully has to lose is really just a bit of ego if he is rejected.
If there are some “fairly respectful and aware in the first place” men that are holding themselves back, that is on them. There are plenty of those guys who don’t hold back and understand how to be decent in going for what they want.
Those days of having in person conversations aren’t over… if asking a man to be a little bit careful or cautious dissuades him entirely, he probably has some stuff he needs to address.
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I’ll get downvoted to hell because this is Reddit, but this isn’t necessarily true. Certain kinds of flirting have now been deemed not okay. I think if a guy is flirting, he’ll need to be much more aware of it there is a weird dynamic that could make her feel unsafe or without choice…. But it’s not too likely society is out here shaming men who shoot their shot respectfully and with awareness.