I want to watch rain patter against the windows as we snuggle on the couch, warm and cozy together.
I want to whisper hopes, dreams, and secrets into the wee hours of the night.
I want the collar around my neck to feel like a badge of honor, knowing it's from you.
I want to hold hands on long walks somewhere beautiful: a forest, a beach, a scenic neighborhood, take your pick.
I want to bake you treats and hear you say, "Oh my god, that's so good."
I want to feel warm and fuzzy when you say I've done a good job, made your life easier, or otherwise been a good boy.
I want us to look in one another's eyes and feel absolute trust and safety when the whips and chains come out.
I want us to be the other's first thought when we wake up from a scary dream.
I want our hearts to swell with pride when you say, "He's my submissive."
I want us to look at each other and feel like the luckiest people alive.
Who I am
I'm a 33-year-old Seattle man who values creativity, intelligence, and dedication. When it comes to kink...
- I'm a submissive (not a bottom or slave) man who's been involved in kink on and off for around two years. I've served multiple dommes in various capacities. I'm grateful to each for everything I learned.
- I'd describe myself as a good boy. Earning words of praise from a partner, and knowing I've made her happy, makes me glow.
- I thrive under structure and routine with clear expectations and consequences. I am detail-oriented and sometimes pedantic. I love understanding rules and systems and discovering optimal ways to follow them. Learning a partner's wants and expectations is like assembling a puzzle: I'm beholding something beautiful and intricate, and feel like I've accomplished something by getting to.
- I'm happy to take initiative, volunteer opinions and ideas, and undertake goals independently. I love being told what to do, but figuring out what to do myself is no problem. I believe a submissive who needs constant direction like a lost puppy is a liability rather than asset to their domme. I'd liken myself more to a sheep dog that can independently do what it's trained for (if its owner so desires), but happily come running on command.
- I'm service-oriented. Hearing my partner sigh contently when I massage her feet after a long day? Music to my ears. I want to make my partner's day brighter. I want to ease her burdens. Is that through cooking? Cleaning? Yard work? Running errands? Locating the name of that elusive song on the tip of her tongue? Tell me how I can serve! I could probably have found fulfillment as the butler for an 1800s great manor house.
On the vanilla front...
- I'm extremely passionate about things and people that matter to me. If I'm fascinated by a topic, I can write about it for thousands of pages. If I value a person, picking them up at 3 AM from the airport is nothing.
- I'm an introvert and prioritize few but close relationships over many casual ones. An evening reading, cooking, and taking a walk with a partner sounds like a rad date.
- I'm meticulous and detail-oriented. No facts are too insignificant for me to overlook. If I was mugged by a man wearing mismatching socks, I'd observe that his outfit could be better coordinated. Then I'd hand him a dummy wallet with a few bucks and expired credit cards, because I'm meticulous in practical ways too.
- I'm endlessly curious. I'm constantly learning and researching things. I can regale listeners with factoids from the practical to the esoteric. (Did you know that Kim Jong-Il once stole a bunch of Flemish giant rabbits?!) I'm never bored. The world is too interesting.
- I don't consider myself competitive or aggressive. But I'm stubborn as a mule when I've decided something (or someone) is important to me.
- I have strong opinions and convictions. I respect strength in others. I define strength as remaining true to one's values despite external pressures. Some of my proudest moments are ones where I felt I did so.
- My primary love language is quality time, followed by words of affirmation. I also like to express affection by cooking and baking for people.
- My hobbies include reading, creative writing, films, tabletop RPGs (all four frequently from the fantasy, sci fi, and horror genres), history, cooking and baking, spending time with cats, personal fitness, and researching whatever random topics grab my interest.
- I love learning new things. I value partners who can expose me to new interests and experiences (and vice versa) while sharing common ones. I value compatible personalities most of all, though. Sharing the same interests is moot if you drive each other crazy!
Physically, I'm 5'5", slender, Caucasian, brown-haired, brown-eyed. Once described as "a handsome devil." Happy to share SFW pictures privately.
What I have to offer
In alphabetical order...
- Commitment: I'm good at organizing and completing long-term projects. I've been GMing my current RPG group for nine years and written 11,000 pages of fiction with them.
- Communication: I'm a direct but tactful communicator. I believe that addressing issues promptly and openly is the best way to resolve them.
- Conversation: I'm well-read on a variety of topics and can provide engaging conversation.
- Cooking: I'm an adept cook and baker. I can prepare multi-course delicious and healthy meals. Or sinfully decadent, as desired--in my favorite chef's words, "Fat is flavor!"
- Criticism: I'm receptive to personal criticism and have a growth-centric mindset. When I make an error, I want to know ASAP so that I can fix it.
- Employment: I'm a grown-ass adult with a steady job.
- Experience: I've served prior dommes. I've attended kink events and educated myself through reading. I'm not an expert, but I'm not new at this.
- Health: I'm drug-free, STI-free, a non-smoker/drinker, and exercise regularly. I'm conscientious about my nutritional intake. My grandfather lived until 94: I want to do that too!
- History: My account has a long posting/comment history that gives a good sense of who I am outside of this ad. (I'm happy to share a link to my SFW account upon request, too.)
- Housekeeping: I have multiple years' professional experience cleaning from a prior job and can keep a tidy house.
- Learning: I'm passionate about learning new skills and interests, especially if they bring my partner joy. Do you love to ice skate? Carve wood? Study languages? I'd love to learn!
- Writing: I have strong written communication skills. I can articulately and entertainingly express ideas in personal, professional, and hobbyist contexts.
- Broadly, I'm highly organized, methodical, and attentive to detail. I can leverage these traits to benefit my partner in a variety of situations.
- I love lists, can you tell?
I'm also told that I squirm delightfully when tied up!
I'm conscientious about safety. I'm private about personal information until I get to know and trust someone. I don't post anything online that connects my vanilla identity to kink. If we decide to meet, I'll ask to do so in a public vanilla setting. (I'm happy for you to pick the location, and equally happy if you want me to offer ideas.) Kinksters who know me consider me a safe and dependable play partner.
Kinks & Limits
The primary thing I seek is connections with people whose personalities are compatible with mine. Kink and D/s dynamics are desirable but secondary.
I believe how someone wants to feel is more important than specific kinks they want to explore. Some feelings I enjoy experiencing include: cherished, praised, controlled in my daily life, physically and mentally helpless, humbled and put in my place, uncertain and on my toes, degraded and humiliated, whiplashed from alternating kindness and cruelty.
These feelings are not requirements in the least! Every domme has their own style and emotional relationship with kink: every dynamic is unique. (And apparently, I love rhymes?) I'm more interested in whether a partner and I tick enough shared boxes, and whether our personalities vibe, than whether every feeling on that list speaks to her.
Some of my kink interests include (in alphabetical order) chastity, collars/leashes, crossdressing, discipline, funishments, high heels, humiliation, lifestyle rules and restrictions, orgasm control, pegging, physical bondage, psychological domination, spanking/impact, tease/denial, rewards and punishments. As with feelings, none of my interests are must-haves. E.g., don't like crossdressing? Cool, I can live without it.
I'm open to most kinks that aren't limits. E.g., rope play isn't on that list, but if my partner's into it? Okay! Let's try it! I believe most activities (vanilla or kinky) are as enjoyable as the people you do them with.
My limits include ballbusting, findom/financial tributes, male nipple play, needles, rimming (giving), scat, sounding, taking NSFW pictures/videos of myself, watersports.
What I seek
I'm looking for either of two things: a happily ever after or an exciting next chapter in my life story.
An exciting next chapter is a dynamic with someone whose personality vibes with mine. Maybe that's as play partners. Maybe that's something short-term but meaningful. Maybe that's a relationship with someone in a poly/ENM relationship. What our dynamic could look like (and whether I'd continue pursuing my happily ever after) is a discussion I can only have with my next partner. So long as our personalities vibe, I'd be thrilled to see where things take us.
A happily ever after would be a long-term FLR/female-led relationship with a D/s component. Someone to make my sun and stars and the most important person in my life. I'd be happy with monogamy and open towards non-monogamy--if I were the primary partner/nesting partner/anchor partner/etc. I'd want us to be each other's #1 priorities.
If life is a journey, people are destinations. Maybe we'll be one another's dream homes. Maybe we'll be a lovely place to stay for a few years. Maybe we'll be ships passing in the night. More than anything else, I'm interested in meeting interesting people and seeing where things go.
Feel free to shoot me a line if you're interested in the same!
Subreddit
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- 1 month ago
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