She broke up with me 5 years ago. She sent me an email but I decided to hold off reading it. I had no intention of replying to her no matter what it said. I didn't want to read it not because I'd be left feeling hurt or worried that I'd suddenly have the desire to get back with her but because I didn't want to confront an uncomfortable truth about myself: I no longer have a heart.

I've always wanted to believe in the power of love and I've done my best but I knew upon reading it that I'd just see through her intentions plain as day. It's as if there is no magic or mystery left, I've gone ice cold. Does anyone pursue love not out of need or desperation? I'm not so sure anymore. I'm not sure I'm capable of love anymore because I can't "unsee" it in that light. I never wished to be that way but alas