I'm brand new to this and it is quite an adventure. We are 40m and 43f. This is the m perspective on things in this life and it's quite a ride. I don't have any friends that do this, I have no where to share my thoughts and questions and Views and excitement outside of my wife. I'd like to explain how I got where I am today with this brand new adventure.

My woman and I have been together for 2 and 1/2 years, about a year and a half ago maybe, we really started to discover each other's adventurous kinky side. We were talking one day and she expressed interest in watching another woman give me a blowjob. That was wild. My ears are ringing and it totally fried my circuits. I've lived a very quiet life when it comes to sex, I've never been comfortable in a relationship to where I can share my excitement. I got my whole life thinking that you just didn't share those sorts of deep things.

That opened up conversations about sex and Kinks and it really brought us super close because of how instantly comfortable we felt sharing these things with each other. This has added so much more connection in our relationship as odd as it sounds.

She had told me about her sex life in parts and she's lived a very exciting life. But she's never been able to really let her hair down with a partner. Hearing about her sex life excited me. The topic of her being with another man came up and it was exciting.

Explain that in the past she had a playmate that she enjoyed playing with. They would meet up maybe a couple times a month and have a great time. Well after a few years of that not happening she reached back out and he was very interested. They set up a date and she went out and had a great time.

It was a new experience for us so there was still a lot of uncertainty on what to do how to do it how to act, just all of those things but we were both a little awkward about it. Again we found comfort in that with each other. She let me know she was on her way to go play and I told her to enjoy herself and have fun and I let her be.

She called me a few hours later and we went out for drinks and to party a little and ended up having a really spicy night of ourselves. I'm into it. It's only happened once but it was very exciting. I was incredibly comfortable with the idea, I wasn't nervous or worried or anything.

It's been a month or so since and we have talked about it again here and there and she's expressed interest in doing it again and has even made rough plans to do it soon. Now, the spicy sex is incredible. I mean we haven't even scratched the surface yet and I am like overwhelmed by the excitement at times. I love it. But something I've noticed is our non kinky, romantic loving nights have gotten better. They were never bad to begin with, ever. Always absolutely incredible but they've changed. It feels just a little bit deeper. A little bit more intimate.

I don't always want the exciting spicy kinky nights. It's like a treat for me. I don't want to sit and have apple pie every fuckin night. I want it to be a treat. I like to be surprised with it. The less frequent it happens, the more exciting it is when it does.

Now it's been incredibly smooth till this point. I mean I have felt secure, she has made me feel so comfortable and makes me feel so loved about all of it. She's really just incredible at this part. The paperwork part so to speak. Now she has expressed interest in something that I'm not a fan of. She would like the freedom to be able to play when she wants without telling me or involving. That's the part that is not fun for me. The idea of it at least doesn't sit well with me.

This all started as an us thing even though she is the one having the physical fun outside of the relationship, but she involves me in it. And she would like to progress to the point where we are playing together in a swapping swinging sort of way. She wants me to be part of something like this with her. And that's great. It's the off on your own outside of the relationship completely part that just doesn't make me feel good about it. But I can talk to her about all these things because she's really great about it. I'm not going to ever be comfortable with that so I'm sure she is going to be understanding of it because that for me is a deal-breaker. I'm okay with the sex. I've got a new perspective on sex and I am okay with her having it, but the emotional part the relationship part the affection the care the companionship part has never been more important to me. And those things I'm incredibly protective of and don't want to share any of that. For me that's the meat and potatoes of this. That's the real life part of this thing I have with her that I cherish. The sex is just a fun hobby we get to partake in together.

Sorry this was long-winded, I've hadn't had anyone to really talk to about this the last year and a half, especially recently. This feels like a comfortable place to share these sorts of things.