I think even if something is consensual it warrants closer examination and self-reflection. We're part of a system (patriarchy, rape culture) that affects us and how we think. Our consent may be limited to in-system consent.

Take slavery (not the BDSM kind) as an example. There is some measure of consent on the part of the enslaved. The slaves may be convinced they have it relatively good with their current master, compared to other masters or to a life on the run. Actual freedom, i.e. an end of slavery as a whole, is not a viable option. It's not even an easily thinkable option if slavery is ingrained in society. Therefore when asked "Do you like working for such-and-such?" a slave may well "consent". But only because freedom is not an option in the system. Their consent is in-system consent. I.e. of the options presented by the system they "consent" to this one. That's not good enough.

Theoretically, if someone wants to be a slave, more power to them, but before they can make that choice they need to be freed. Fully. They need to know what freedom is and that it's an option for them. Otherwise their "consent" is limited by the system. I think this applies to mere "playing" too. If someone wants to play a slave and someone wants to play a slave owner, it can only be safe, sane and consensual if they're both free of the slavery mindset. If they both secretly believe the slave deserves to be a slave anyway, even outside of play, that's dangerous interference.

Likewise (though on a less extreme level), as members of a sexist society, we fall back on sexist tropes quite easily. Man = dominant. Woman = submissive. Spanking = sexy. If we allow ourselves to just fall into these roles without reflection, I think even if there is consent, it's only in-system consent. A lot of kinks are in essence play-misogyny. They hold a fun-house mirror up to the patriarchy and rape culture, exaggerate some features, subvert others. However, if we're still stuck too deep in that system, play-misogyny is dangerously close to plain misogyny.

We should strive to free ourselves and our partners as best as we can. Make an effort to learn how the system affects our thinking. Look behind the gender curtain. Examine if we, as individuals, not just as men or women or other, desire something. It may well be play-misogyny and that's ok. Plenty of valid reasons to desire that. But to ensure it's play-misogyny, we have to meet as equals.

We have to have gotten a glimpse outside the system to play with it, instead of just within it.