Is my penis too small? Is it too small to feel good? Is its size a psychological turn off? When people say "size doesn't matter" are they lying to make others feel better? It's an intrinsic property, how could it not matter?

First of all, having a small penis is not big enough of a handicap to make you unlovable. It also won't doom you or your partner to unsatisfying sex. Lesbian couples, for example, are perfectly happy without a penis. There is a lot more to sex. Note that with this I do not mean to say "You can make up for it with your hands and mouth" because you're not making up for squat. Obviously your hands and mouth are going to be part of it because you're taking a holistic approach to sex that involves more than (but also!) your penis! However, this isn't the "compensatory small-dick-experience with bonus massage" you're offering - in the grand scheme you're doing the same as a good lover with a huge cock or one with no cock would!

If you've read some penis size discussions online or had some in person, a common theme I find is that women say some of their most enjoyable experiences were with small guys. How can this be? Did they just "make up for it" really well or is penis size simply a smaller factor than we believe it to be?

Let me address four things that I feel are important when it comes to penises:

1. The powerful image of an impressively big cock

I don't know when we became fixated on this. In Ancient Greece it was fashionable to have a small penis, preferably one where the tip was covered by the foreskin. Having the head exposed was considered rude, which is why, on some depictions of singers they tied a little string around their foreskin to keep it from retracting. Anyway, a beautiful, attractive, literally perfectly sculpted man (or god) has a small penis!

However, as an ancient painter or sculptor, if you want to highlight the pornographic nature of some randy fiend, or you want to show extreme virility in someone you make his penis comically huge!

You know those neolithic statuettes that show obese women, right? I don't know if that really was the standard of attractiveness at the time, due to starvation being common, as it's often said. I think it was rather a way to highlight virility in a virility goddess. Give her super broad hips, big tits.. This could have had precious little to do with what people found attractive or unattractive! They're just attributes that fit on a virility goddess. If we fast-forward a few hundred years and look at depictions of women that we know from sources of the time were actually meant to look attractive: they're pretty much classically beautiful, give or take 30 pounds throughout the eons.

Same with the penis, imo. The huge penis depictions all have an iconographic point that relates to said penis, so the sculptor/painter made it huge. Does this mean a huge penis was considered the attractive ideal at the time? No. As I said, in Ancient Greece perfect men had small penises.

Somehow this huge penis = hyper virility = strength and power iconography, which has its place in images, got stuck in us and we now think a real penis has to embody these things and display them in its actual real-life size - and if yours doesn't you're less of a man..

2. Who is this penis attached to?

"Just be charming and confident enough to make up for your tiny cock!" That's how this kind of advice usually reads to me but let me give you a different perspective:

While everything a big cock represents may be desirable, you convey these traits a lot more with literally anything else about you. A big cock, while certainly nice, is just a short-hand (formerly artistic) representation of certain qualities. It's not the focal point through which your partner perceives all these things - they perceive this directly from all over your body and mind! Virility is in your horniness and passion for your lover. Strength is in how your entire body, your weight plays into how you're fucking. Power is in the way you think, speak, behave...

You're not compensating for a small penis. There is just a lot going on and the penis barely matters!

I want my man to be gentle and loving with me at times but also, when I want him to, let go of any stiff notion of respect and just let his passion run wild! Slam into me, dig into my flesh with his hands, kiss me raw, make a reckless mess of slobber, sweat and cum.. in recent times whenever I imagined this my fantasy man had a small and beautiful penis. It was just simply the penis I was enamored with at the time, no other reason, could just as well have been a thick, long one - it wouldn't have changed how I pictured his hips to grind into me, our foreheads pressed together, breathing into each-other's mouths as he pumps into me..... ok, let's not carried away. My point is all this other stuff isn't compensating - that other stuff is the sex I want!

Won't a small penis feel different though? Eh. Read on!

3. The physical, mechanical utility of your penis

I'm not a woman. I can't tell you more than that most of the nerve endings are near the entrance of the vagina and the g-spot isn't too far in because you can get at it with a curled finger. I can tell you that I have two dildos, one small, one big. The big one isn't as easy to get in without discomfort but once either is in they both feel 100% equally good. The only difference that matters to me is in their shape and texture. The big one has a head, which feels great going in and out and the small one is shaped in a way where it's a little thinner down the shaft which doesn't have the same bump as the head of the other but has its own great feeling when it goes in and out. As far as being stretched or filled.. it's a fun challenge to take the big one but once they're in I'm loosened juuust enough for either so the difference is negligible to me. And since an asshole is a muscle the hole doesn't get drilled open forever but a half hour later it's back to normal and I could follow up the big one with the small one and not feel at all like it's lacking.

I got a small dildo at first because I wanted one that's comfy and wouldn't hurt and I bought the big one because I wanted one with a flared base... for reasons. That one looked pretty. I only noticed at home that it's much bigger. My experience in using both was, to me personally, the biggest wake-up call about my penis worries.

You can hear a thousand times how bigger isn't necessarily better but can actually be uncomfortable, albeit fun to conquer - unless you felt the difference, or lack thereof, in yourself you'll never truly know if it's just said to soothe you or the truth.

4. Purely aesthetic concerns

Depends entirely on personal preference, I guess, though may be a little influenced by the previous points, of course. By point 3: You may see a curve and think about how it would affect things mechanically, how it would feel. I think we're worried point 1 may factor into this the most but I'm pretty sure it's actually point 2 that truly decides if someone likes a cock. Ask a hundred women and most will say they love their partner's penis but don't care much about the looks of that of a stranger.

Lastly, if you're into men and by extension hopefully into me, I have some audios I'd like you to listen to! :)

[M4M] Pulling Over To Jerk Off Thinking Of Your Cock: the cock in question here is an adorable little thing that I got to watch cum <3 Hear for yourself how much this affected me!

[M4M] Sex With My Virgin Boyfriend: We're about to have sex for the first time and you're worried about your size.

[M4TF] Getting My Pretty Girl Off: made with a transwoman in mind who still has a small penis but if you like the idea of being my pretty girl for a little while you may like this!

I invite you to have a look around at /r/SamuelEnderby as I have some more homoerotic audios I would love for you to listen to, though I don't mention cock size in the others. I like to keep physical details vague unless they're the audio's theme. That said, please don't let your lingering feelings of inferiority make you feel excluded because a small penis isn't specifically addressed!! Just because it isn't outright mentioned doesn't mean what I was picturing and getting off to wasn't an average to small cock. Chances are good! :)