Depression sucks. The start to a new year with the same old problems except I’m single. I should be happy I’m at least not getting cheated on anymore. I’ve only been with him the last few years and I found out I have all the strains of HPV but not the actual infection. He intentionally gave me a std that keeps on giving and I’ll always carry it. After all he’s done I’m left worrying about cancer now. He’s moved on and hasn’t skipped a beat and I’m over here alone and still going through it. It’s crazy because when he and I met he was down and I had his back. Years later when I needed him when I was down he was gone. I’ll get through this lesson hopefully sooner than later. I’m 47 years old and life just isn’t the same anymore. I think a lot about death and that’s not healthy. I don’t have any real friends and top it off with financial issues. I just going through the motions. I no longer have fun our even pamper myself anymore. It’s a challenge just to coexist I mean I don’t think I’d even be missed. With that said it’s my choice to live our die. My will to die is higher then my will to live. So if I get cancer I won’t even bother battling it. I’ll just say goodbye. 👋 wish I would have valued myself more than I did. I wish I wasn’t a person who is codependent. All that got me was shit people I put before myself and they used and abused. If I do get sick though you’ll probably see me on the news cuz I’ll most definitely go out with a bang! Paybacks from a psychopath u created.