I’m placing this ad against my better judgment. But then, the last time I listened to my better judgment, it told me the only way to find a beautiful, sexy and articulate woman, was to scour the produce isle at Whole Foods, and one can only buy so many cucumbers.
A little about me: I’m not as high maintenance as my highly polished and impeccably arranged collection of porcelain cats suggests, but if you touch them, I will unleash a fury so precise and calculated that even Marie Kondo would be impressed by the strategic chaos I’m about to introduce into your life.
Also, standing at 6’1, with a ruggedly handsome look about me. Salt/pepper hair and a devilish smile. Basically, think of every sexual partner you’ve ever had. I’m nothing like them. Unless you’ve ever slept with a bulimic German cellist called Elsa.
Discretion is needed and handed out freely.
If you have read this far, appreciate humor and a quick wit, and you don’t identify with the MAGA crowd, by all means, please do write.
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