Up until the last year, I was a virgin. I then met a girl with whom I went to pound town a few times since, and everything I thought about myself, about women, about sex, and love changed. This is not a post about romance, this is a post about the treachery of lust. Here I found a girl who in a way, I could spend the rest of my life with. But a part of me wants more.

It shames me, what that part wants. This is a post about lust, about the treachery of desire. Of greed. Sin. I could not have imagined this to be the case, but I want to be a slut. I want to be slutted the fuck out.

I LOVE seeing her orgasm. I love it when she takes control and strokes me off. I love it when she submits to me and lets me take reign. As I ask her to sit on me, I love how she towers over me, and presses her loins to my face. I love licking and slurping every drop of juice. Her sweat, her hair, her moans, how her toes curl, how her hips arch. And when she gets what she deserves, I love the few seconds of tranquil, where we lay in silence not moving an anch, and then she beckons me to come near her, and she kisses me. I love how she kisses me right before she cums. Her lips bite into mine. Her lips are still soft, but they are firm now. When I thrust into her, and she digs her nails onto me, as she groans, asking me, begging me to not stop.

It isn't enough. Every time I now see a woman I am attracted to, I silently wonder how she would be in the same scenario. When I discover interest, conversation, and a slight liking, I can't help but wonder: how does she taste. How does she ask that I treat her and serve her. How does she treat me and take care of me.

I feel so strongly about so many things, but these feelings of lust, they are so physical. They derail all my attention and focus. I am afraid of losing her, or worse, hurting her; but I do not know how I can admit these feelings too. To want her, and want others too.

As I have asked many times before: am I alone with these feelings? What have some of you kind folks of Reddit done in a similar situation? I am on a path of self destruction - why do we have to fuck things up to feel so good?

Me: 29, Indian, and witty, charming, and opinionated on occasion.