Returning to the Bay Area after an east coast phase and have the time and energy for a guy who wants to grow his submissive side with a Domme. I recently passed the decade mark of being in the BDSM scene, going to munches, workshops, parties, and other opportunities to keep in practice and sharpen my skills, both for in-scene technique and creating a safe and lasting D/s dynamic.

I'm looking to develop a lifestyle dynamic where we are consistently seeing each other after we established the interest. This doesn't have to be a romantic relationship, though I do have the emotional availability for one. I tend to reserve my capacity for casual/scenes-only play for those already in the local kink scene, and right now I'm prioritizing quality over quantity. Ideally the dynamic would be closer to the FLR side rather than Mistress/slave, but I have experience in facilitating stricter training and protocol.

A little about me: I'm a 5'6" mixed brown lady with part black cat energy, part playful creative. Recently moved here for work in a creative field and community engagement takes up a lot of my professional time and personal interests. I'm independent, witty, bold, and my mind and heart are aligned. A lot of my personality revolves around food, such as home-cooking, going out of my way to try new restaurants, distillery tours, and hopefully soon some baking! I'm the type that will plan an entire trip to another country around the food I want to try. Very interested in interactive art, performances of any kind, and games in any form (intro me to your fav board game or sport?). Lean a very hard left on the political spectrum and my love language is switching between witty/flirtatious banter and big deep vulnerable talk in the same conversation.

As a Domme I'm playful, a big tease, gentle with a touch of firmness, and nurturing with a touch of sadism. I am often accused of being an evil temptress seducing good men into a spiral of depravity and, well, guilty as charged 💁🏽‍♀️ My favorite aspects of having control is being the center of someone's attention and seeing the reactions I can get out of a guy because of what my control is doing to him. I enjoy a less formal dynamic where our personalities stay intact and the power exchange is based off our unique chemistry. However I do also enjoy creating rules, protocol, tasks, and being addressed formally if our dynamic calls for it. Big on talking about consent, boundaries, desires, and aftercare and growing those conversations as the dynamic develops. Much prefer to take it slow, get to know each other as people, and slowly build up towards an official dynamic.

Here is a preview of my favorite kinks to gauge how compatible we are if these are a main feature in our dynamic:

• orgasm control (my favorite and a must!)
• tease and denial (lots of edging, tempting, denying instant gratification, potentially ruined orgasms)
• objectification (treating you as a plaything/pet/himbo/personal porn star)
• training (giving you tasks and goals so you can show me you're a good boy, rewards and punishments depending on how you do)
• anal play and toys in general (pegging, plugs, vibrating cock rings, remote-controlled devices)
• light bondage (just enough so you can't do anything while I edge you 💕)
• sensation play (blindfolds, headphones, anything that heightens your senses)
• light humiliation (getting you flustered about your own desires and what I make you do for me)
• light primal play (collar, leash, harness, primal instincts)

Some curiosities I would be excited to do but are completely optional:

• advanced rope (willing to train further in shibari and more complicated rope bondage)
• behavior training (having you develop everyday patterns that please me)
• hypnosis (similar to behavior training but more psychological)
• skill training (directing you to learn or seek instruction for certain skills I like, such a cooking, massage, playing an instrument)
• domestic service (cleaning, cooking, repairs)
• light switching (you as gentle yet lustful boyfriend energy, me as teasing brat who always gets a reaction out of you)
• light primal play (i'll enjoy teasing the feral instincts out of you until you decide to do something about it 😈)
• light forced bi (encouraging and growing your bi side, just for my pleasure or because you secretly crave it)

And here are some common kinks I won't include:

• slavery (don't want to completely take your independence nor do I want you to be passive nor a blank slate)
• cucking (a non-monogamous dynamic is possible but not specifically for the purpose of cucking)
• mommy domming (I am nurturing but don't enjoy any age play)
• feminization/crossdressing (very queer/nb-friendly but I see femininity as power and not associated with submission)
• body shaming (no SPH or anything similar)
• major pain (I'll inflict a little pain like spanking or using a paddle, but don't enjoy pain as a central aspect to a scene)

Here are some example dynamic prompts that we could do, not the only ones but just to give you an idea:

• You have a high libido or enjoy that feeling of being desperately horny for long periods of time. Your submissive side is very needy or wants to feel completely out of control. I will train you through orgasm control and give you daily edging tasks to complete for me. You'll start getting used to ruined and P-spot orgasms in order to avoid your refractory period, keeping you consistently aroused. You won't know when you will get to cum, but this isn't a long-term chastity play
• You have a conventionally hot body or big dick and want to be objectified for them. Your submissive side is slutty and likes being used. I will turn you into my personal porn star, giving you tasks to perform every day where you're showing off your body and sexuality. This can be shirtless pics anywhere I like when you're out of the house, having you walk around naked at home, cumming big loads anywhere I want, doing sex acts I find hot and can pleasure myself over. Very willing to treat you like a walking dick or set of abs
• You consider yourself completely straight but have secret fantasies about men or cocks. Your submissive side gets off to humiliation but doesn't want to admit how much seeing cock turns you on. I will make you watch certain kinds of porn or go on apps like Grindr anonymously in a forced-bi kind of play. In order to earn anything in this dynamic you will have to give into your gayer urges and become obsessed with cocks and cum. No actual forced-bi sex/public play has to happen unless that's something you consent to. There also won't be any homo/biphobia or queer/trans fetishization involved
• You are service-oriented and want to feel a high level of control. Your submissive side is very obedient and wants to be praised. You will tell me the parts of you and your day-to-day you want to hand control over: what you wear, what you shave, food choices, activities, where and how you jerk off. You will also tell me goals that you're working on and want to be held accountable for, like going to the gym, writing a book, or playing the guitar. I will give you daily tasks and prompts for you to tell me how it felt to be controlled that day and deepen the feeling of completely controlled
• You are switchy and enjoy involving your dominant energies while still submitting. Your kinky side has a mix of being gentle, possessive, and primal. I will have you play the role of the nice guy good boyfriend who lets me have my way but who I constantly tease and drive crazy for my entertainment. Until one day you can't take it anymore and you grab what you want from me, not in a dominating or violent way but like an explosion of passion and desire. I will train you in the ways I like to be touched and handled while you're in your primal state and set the rhythm for when the switch happens

Some things about you I hope for:

I'm looking for a queer/bi/pan man or straight guy who likes trans women (a must, please signal to me that you've read this!). I've noticed I attract and enjoy playing with men who are typically dominant in their personal, professional, and/or sex lives but crave to explore and satisfy their submissive side. I enjoy playing up the difference between men's outer lives as a masculine, dominant man and their private lives where they are still masculine but submissive. I'm good at creating a safe space for vulnerability since I know many men don't have that in their lives to express themselves and work through emotions and identity related to traditional masculinity. Not looking to make a man's man or to feminize you, just help you engage more authentically with these topics in a hot and safe way!

Consistency, honesty, and earnestly working on opening up and being vulnerable is a must. I will assume you are a good communicator and expect you to be upfront if you struggle with communication, vulnerability, or being present. I am at the point of my life where I will instantly drop men who are wasting my time, but I also make sure to reward eagerness and effort. I'm open to unpartnered left-leaning men ages 25-45 who are fully vaccinated and actively working on themselves (regular exercise and therapy are big pluses). Please be in walking distance of BART/MUNI and/or willing to regularly travel to Oakland.

If you've gotten this far and are still interested, congrats on passing the first filter! To pass the next one, send me a message with the following:

1. Name, age, location, a little bit of biographical information and what your day-to-day looks like
2. Your experience with kink of any kind and what parts of your submissive self are you looking to grow or discover
3. Confirming you read my kink list and you believe we are compatible. Bring up any dealbreaker kinks you don't see listed. Acknowledge that we will put aside sex and kink talk until we've met each other a couple of times
4. Tell me about your non-kink interests, hobbies, goals, obsessions, curiosities. Would love to hear what's on your Spotify playlists, streaming queue, or restaurant bucket list
5. At least one SFW picture of you (shirtless is okay and appreciated but not required). If you don't want to completely reveal yourself in your opening message, you can crop off the top half of your face so I'm still able to see if I'm interested. I will respond with a picture of myself and we can verify after

I appreciate that you took the time to read about me, looking forward to meeting you ✨