You ever see those homeless guys panhandling along Pier 39 holding up signs that read, “why lie? I want a beer.” That’s my vibe, but instead the sign would read “why lie? I want my dick wet.”

One thing I have come to discover as I have gotten older is that I’ve lost some patience playing the courtship game of small talk and beating around the bush. Sure, on some basic level, most guys want to get laid. But some put in a lot more time, money, and effort to make it happen. And I just don’t want to waste anyone’s time, my own included, playing those dumb games.

I’m in that phase of life where I don’t need to brag about what I’m about, what I have, or any of that nonsense either. I’m older, maybe not wiser, but I have the energy and libido to outlast all of my partners and men half my age. I keep fit, workout daily, and I really just want a set of tight holes attached to an attractive and equally intelligent partner who loves baby batter marinating her ovaries on repeat.

Of course, I can hold a conversation depending on what you enjoy bantering over. Whether it’s why hot dogs are sold in packages of 10 and buns in packages of 8. Or who the second gunman was on the grassy knoll. Or even why the afterlife is a facade and why youth is wasted on the young.

But how do I foresee things going if we get along? I would imagine seeing each other on a weekly basis would be a good start. Maybe grab a bite to eat and I make you scream your lungs out for dessert. Perhaps long drives laughing over something stupid and we find a way to steam up the windows.

And if we vibe beyond the bedroom activities, perhaps up the game up and do something more fun. Also, as my post alludes, I do have kids and I was once married. If you like guys who have been there, and done that, even better. I have some mileage on me, but I would imagine you do, too. Or at least don’t mind and find the older dad quality endearing.

Since looks matter and people want to know who they are interacting with, I’m 6’2”, 225, white, blue eyes, blonde hair, and 8.5 uncut. Pictures are also available and I’m happy to trade if you’re legit and not trying to sell content.

Edit: I’ve gotten a number of messages from swingers, gay men, trans women, and married women. While flattering, respectfully, I’m not interested. I’ve also gotten a number of messages from people who don’t seem sincere about messaging in a timely manner or just want me to chat with them using some other platform. Again, I appreciate the interest, but I just want to keep the chatting in Reddit and I don’t want to waste my time chatting with someone who takes 24 hours to respond back to a message. I don’t want to sound unkind, I just don’t want to waste mine or anyone else’s time.