You know when you see those couples out who are total mismatches?

You know the internet did it or it would have never happened, and I find it intensely sexy that they didn’t give a fuck, they were open to truly liking each other. I envy they connected and used technology the way god intended it, and I’m approaching this the same way.

We don’t have to go full on Beauty and the Beast here, it would just be hot to click with someone against type, and outside my usual social circle who I do not have much in common with at first glance, and who wasn’t obviously well matched. She’s most likely sapiosexual trying something new to break bad patterns, or cool as hell and really open minded. I’d like to think I am. Maybe nobody but us knows, it’s not about showing off it’s about enjoying each other. We might even be the perfect couple who needed Reddit to meet, that’s cool too. You’re not a scratch off ticket, you’re a complex human in need of quick companionship and I’m into that.

Okay but this being Reddit and all I am not exactly romance minded. More like seeking a ‘best friend I used to fuck’, meets ‘new friend who sits on my face and swallows’ type of dating. Eventually we’ll evolve to day dates, brunch, all those best friends vibes, but I’m about the honeymoon stage, inviting me over when your vibe runs out of batteries, or when you opened a bottle of wine you can’t finish all on your own when you hit the perfect stage of loose and lonely wino.

My superpower is being the person who will accept any invite to go do that thing none of your friends want to. I’ll be a good time doing it too, as long as we’re allowed to laugh. I think that’s a telling detail. I also enjoy dates that aren’t dates, but involve doing things with you that aren’t eventful other than I like hanging out. If you tell me you’re having a difficult day or your hands are between your legs I’ll reply before you hit send, I’ll sense it. Other qualities are that I’m a fast typer and I’ll always reply to you. I’m witty, and that’s more of a disclaimer than a humblebrag. It’s a lot.

I’m a great guy, just obviously a lonely pervert. My tolerance for bullshit and a slow burn isn’t what I wish it were, that’s more for traditional dating. I’m looking to drop the pretense, no filters, connect in all the ways , curious to know you and really know you, but focus on the carnal as a gateway. Chances are my vibe has you curious already.