I'm a big fan of weighing things on the scales of duality.

So, on the one hand looking for a date or any foundations of a relationship or love on r4r seems silly. On the other, I often joke with people that my ideal person is hard to meet because they're likely at home so this feels in line with that sentiment.

I feel like saying the past few years have been nuts is akin to expressing rain is wet. I'd rather ask "what trials have you traversed over the past 4 years?" "how have you grown?"

Personally, I've been stuck in a rural area of the Midwest, been shot in the abdomen (I'm totally OK now physically), gotten severe burnout working in kitchens (the bear hits different lemme tell ya), and somehow....I'm way better for it?

Getting stuck in the Midwest was a product of not having my shit together and reaching a point where I recognized I needed to get some shit done for myself by myself. Getting shot snapped me out of years of suicidal ideation. The second I hit the ground I remember thinking "I guess I want to live!"

I bring this up to say I've been heavily focused on self improvement and self care for a couple of years. and I'm freaked out by how quiet it is. I've noticed a correlation between taking steps to get in a better place and that causing friction with people who aren't in the same headspace. It sucks, and I definitely had a period of feeling pretty down. But I have a few close friends, I've been working out regularly for the first time in a long time and I feel pretty fucking good.

I'm in my first apartment it's definitely a work in progress but the first five words of this sentence are massive progress itself and it still feels wierd to say. With help, I dug myself out of a self built hole where I never saw this as a possibility.

And now I'm interested in sharing positive moments with someone who could see themselves sharing space, laughter and conversation with a 35 year old audiophile, gamer who is pretty confident they're autistic to a certain degree.

I don't have to touch certain things a certain amount of times, or eat my food in alphabetical order. But I appreciate my routines and my space. I always thought that was due to being an only child (it's a flcotr for sure) but I'm open to the possibility that there's more to it.

All that to say a man is quirky. But I'm also full of a ton of useless trivia, I'm a marvel wiki walking, I LOVE music as well as finding out people's vibes and then finding stuff they'll like. You can find me in a conversation/analytical video on YouTube about the toxicity of the black manosphere, or the Craft and all the movies it inspired (Yara zayd SLAPS y'all) or rewatching succession for the fifth time. I do love being outside particularly in nature. Since getting shot and healing up I enjoy going and getting into things much more than I let myself prior (anyone wanna go to MoAD with me or exploratorium after dark?).

If you've read this far, please feel free to ask anything you're curious about. It would be silly to ask someone to share intimate space with me, a stranger, and not open up. But also I'm made up of so many facets, interests, thoughts, opinions, philosophies and love that it's really hard to put that all into any passage outside of writing a book.

If you're the type of person that can cuddle up and watch the rain, enjoys a big warm blanket with the window open on a cool night, sweaty passionate back blowouts with a lover who's taken the time to feel you, read you and genuinely crave your taste; know what waterfront dining or luxury elite are, can't eat your meal without finding a show or something to read first, and chew with your mouth closed: we just might vibe.

Obligatory hot takes: living single is better than friends, I will die on that hill. Pearl jam over nirvana, pineapple does go well on pizza but only with certain things (like BBQ sauce and jalapeños), Bjork is the goat, Magick is real, bluegrass is life and sturgill simpson is a sage, we live in a simulation (less our functional understanding of that word and more "higher consciousness' ant farm"), everyone should at least research bitcoin for themselves, learning your SO's period cravings is necessary, bananas are gross, and I think cellulite is sexy af.

If your reaction to this wall of words is "gimme gimme more" it would be the bees knees if you slid into a bruhs dms.

Have a good night and a better tomorrow (or the appropriate phrasing particular to the moment of time you're currently experiencing and an exponential increase of most excellent vibes in the period following).