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Hello there. Hope you all are having an amazing day unlike me.

As the title says, I have actually forgotten how a romantic love actually feels, how that emotional warmth is supposed to make me feel.

I have had a rough childhood where the only romantic relationship I witnessed was of my parents and let’s just say they weren’t the perfect healthy example.

Growing up I was lucky enough (or maybe unlucky) to have fallen in love during my high school. Have had my share of heartbreaks, gratitude and what not.

This one particular relationship of mine stands out for me a lot as I gave my everything in it. I was immature no doubt but did my best and was genuinely happy. All the cliche stuff seemed justified and I was at my best in every aspect.

No relationship of mine after that has made me feel the same way. It has been so so long that I have just forgotten the emotional warmth.

I sought professional help for this has this has been one of the major issues in my life. I am just 23y old and yet I am always anxious about not finding anyone. My psychologist said my efforts and love were never reciprocated and that I was an emotional orphan who would often use his IQ as a coping mechanism (read as 0 EQ).

I used to make strides in my sessions but lately UNLEARNING my past habits and my unhealthy coping mechanisms has been very difficult. Feels as if I am back to square one.

Don’t get me wrong, it feels easy to fall in love even now but it feels immensely difficult to maintain it. I am hesitant to put efforts like I used to and well to be honest, my work-life balance has gone to shit anyway so 🤷🏻‍♂️

This post, essentially, may or may not be a call for help.

If you or someone you know are or have been in the same boat, kindly share your experience in the comments. Feel free to DM if you don’t want to share it in the public domain.