My horse (partner, teammate, friend) has reached a point in her life where it is no longer kind to keep her going. She is in pain daily, pain that I cannot take away or manage or fix the root cause of.

She is still in good spirits and I am letting her go before it gets too too bad. I plan to wash, braid, and cut her tail while she is still with us. We can go for our last walk together and she can have all the treats she wants.

When horses are sedated before euthanasia, they fall. It will be the first and last time I'll ever be able to lay with her, so I plan on getting down on the ground with her and putting my head on her shoulder or neck or however it works out. After they fall, this is when the vet gives the lethal drug so I will be down there while her body cools.

At some point the knackerman will come and take her body and I'll never see her again. It will be a brutal process to load her body onto the truck. I don't know if I should stick around for that or not.

What should I think about while braiding her tail or on our walk? What should I do when I'm on the ground with her? I know I want to put something under her head so her eye isn't digging into the muddy grass or snow or whatever is on the ground at that point, but I don't know what would have significance.