With the uncertainty of civilization lasting another 12 months I'm toying with some ways of possibly shuffling from the mortal coil before the nuclear destruction/plague/meteor ends this lifecycle of this floating rock known as Earth.

I have no long term goals as these seem completely illogical given the circumstances but I have a number of one-off (trust me, you only do these once) goals to knock out during the year so I'm working on a bingo-style armageddon board.

But I need some help to get enough, so what are some other good ways to hop off this futile existence whilst enjoying my 5k gu-fuelled marathon addiction (which in itself is a sure fire way to get mugged/raped/abducted by a cult)? So far my list looks like this:

run in the rain - I'll surely slip and smash my face to a million pieces

run in the snow - see above, although seeing it will be cold I'll probably die of hypothermia exiting the door of my house

2 runs in a day - impossible to achieve, my ankle will break if I so much as stand up again in a 24hr period after my morning mile zone 2 walk/slower walk interval session

catch the sunrise - would involve me running in the dark, where I will be mugged/raped/other

catch the sunset - see above

run in a costume - unless the costume involves alpha flys/Nathan water vest I'll be rendered incapable of movement and die from dehydration

set a distance PR - anything more than 5k will cause instant death

set a time PR - anything longer than 3 hr's will also cause instant death

"plogging" (trash pickup while running) - I live by a nuclear reactor, most of the "trash" is actually high grade nuclear waste

1 month running streak - initially I had this as 1 month running steak but my bowels would perforate from that much red meat

out-of-town/destination run - running in a strange place is also guaranteed to result in mugging/rape/other

duathlon - 2 exercises in one day - the human body could not cope

run home (get dropped off, run back) - probably get mugged/raped/other

run "without" watch (tbh, probably just tucked away) - will follow christopher walkens advice and "tuck" it up my ass...

silent run - running without music will cause me to hear my heart beating out of my chest

trail run - running in the trees...certain death/mugging/rape by the forest people

Goals should heavily favor single-day accomplishments unsuitable for any runner. I'd also like to avoid overly positive or life affirming goals (e.g. pooped behind a tree).

Thanks!