So you’ve had the unfortunate experience of having to use the bathroom. Sadly you cannot wait until you get home or school ends I’m sorry for you. Please follow these rules if you want to make it out alive.

1. If possible sneak into a teacher bathroom it’s better than the student ones by far and much safer. As long as you don’t get caught that is. If you do… just dont. If you must use a Student one make sure to avoid the one in the basement, the one on the second floor by the copying room, and the one by the library.

2. When you find a safe bathroom walk in like normal and go to a stall, unless there is a girl fixing her make up in the mirror of the fifth sink from the door. She’ll have long brown hair and pink shoes. If she is there she is warning you. Go to the third sink from the door and fix your hair or make up then leave like nothing.

3. Now that your in a stall make sure you pee with in 10 seconds of sitting down some people are pee shy. Don’t be.

4. If there is writing on the inside of the stall hope you don’t have a writing utensil on you. If you do write a response to the graffiti or fail to do it quickly take off your jewelry (anything shiny) and hold on to it. It is on its way. Refer to rule 11.

5. If you need to go number 2 don’t. If you must take off jewelry and refer to rule 11.

6. If you need to dispose of or change your menstrual products wrap them in toilet paper and put them in the little silver box. Do not flush you down the toilet even if it’s the disposable kind. It will find you faster that way.

7. Leave the stall remain calm. Look around if there is period blood anywhere on the walls your safe. You got lucky wash your hands and leave the bathroom how ever you want. Refer to 8 otherwise.

8. Walk up to the 4th sink from the door. First, rinse your hands for four seconds. Second, take soap from the dispenser to left of the sink. Third, scrub your hands for six seconds. Finally rinse for 5 seconds.

9. When drying off your hands use two brown paper towels and drop it directly into the trash can. Then exit. If you have done any of the previous steps wrong all of the lights will be off. If that is the case, run back into the bathroom you can out of takeoff all your jewelry and put them inside the fifth sink from the door. Let down your hair if it’s up and takeoff your shoes then start fixing your make up. Don’t stop fixing your make up. It is in the stall behind you and as soon as you look away or stop fixing your make up it will attack. Refer to 10.

10. Don’t stop fixing your makeup we don’t know what it will do, starvation must be better. You will not be able to process the information around you and you won’t be able to perceive time people walk in and out but you will stay there and not move. Do not look away from the mirror. Slowly you will not be able to recognize yourself that is normal.

11. You did something wrong and it’s on its way. Even if you don’t realize you did something wrong, you will know that you did by the sound of muffled rain. If you hear the rain and you haven’t taken your jewelry off yet too late refer to 10 and 11. If you have your jewelry already flush it all down the toilet. Then leave and run to the library bathroom as quickly as possible wash your hands there. It will get confused and will follow you’re smell back to its home after retrieving your jewelry. Refer to rule 8 for hand washing procedure. Do not dry your hands and then leave. Go into the library and ask to check out a romance book with a green cover there are only 3 so return it at the end of the day. Some one else will need it.

Congratulations you survived!