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Starsdale's Public Library Rules
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Welcome to Starsdale's Public Library! We are finally reopened after T̶h̶e̶m̶ the incident! We have prepared a couple rules to ensure your time here is productive s̶a̶f̶e̶!
- The moment you enter the Library you must remain quiet. The only time you may whisper is when you're asking the librarian a question about a book. 1a. You may only ask about three books during your visit. The librarian does not likes to be disturbed too much.
- If you wish to check out a book, simply approach the front desk with it. The librarian will know what to do. To thank her just nod your head. DO NOT THANK HER VERBALLY.
- If you wish to stay and read, make yourself comfortable! You may sit anywhere expect the blue bean bag in the reading area. It's Theirs.
- If you choose the blue bean bag anyway, pray They're in a good mood.
- If you must cough or sneeze immediately hide under the table afterwards. If you do not have a table within five feet of you, we're sorry. There must be silence in the Library.
- If you do have a table to hide under, DO NOT come out unless the librarian knocks on your table three times. You will know it's her, because her shoes don't make noise even though she wears heels. If you hear heels clacking against the floor, it is not the librarian, do not come out. They are trying to trick you.
- If you return a book late, there will be a fee to pay. 7a. If you're late 1 to 7 days you'll have to pay 3$ for each day. 7b. If you're late 8 to 14 days the librarian will ask you for up to three fingers. Do not try and argue, she will make it quick if you just agree. If you resist, she might just bite them off. 7c. If you're late 15 to 30 days, don't come back to return it personally. Send it back by post with an apology note. The librarian will not ask for just fingers if she sees you. Don't ever come back.
- If you loose a book, the librarian will know. You have exactly 12 hours to rebuy the book you lost. The time starts when you first realize you have lost it.
- If you don't rebuy the book, we are sorry. The Library's books must be taken care of and replaced.
- If during your stay you see the librarian violently drag a body away, do not acknowledge it. Someone just returned a very late book.
- If you see Them, cÒˆoÒˆmÒˆeÒˆ tÒˆoÒˆ uÒˆsÒˆ RUN. You will know it's Them.
- Please remember that despite her demeanor, the librarian is not hostile if you follow rules. If you spot Them, she will protect you as long as you stay quiet.
- If you feel thirsty or hungry, leave. There is no eating and drinking in the Library.
- If you ignore rule 13, you will be removed from the Library immediately. Next time you visit, the librarian will be hostile towards you. You may not ask her about any books and you may not check out any book. You may only use the reading area and she will not protect you from Them.
- If you spot a tall, sad looking man peeping through bookcases, ignore him. That's Henry - he used to be our previous librarian but he broke the rules wÒˆeÒˆ tÒˆoÒˆoÒˆkÒˆ hÒˆiÒˆmÒˆ.
- Henry is not hostile but he will not defend you from the librarian if you break rules - he's afraid of her.
- They are always watching. If you feel like you're being watched - go ask about a book. If you may not - go to the bathroom and count to 15. By then They will stare at someone else.
- The highest shelves are so high for a reason. No books from those shelves are for reading or checking out. Those are Theirs.
- If at any point you hear Henry cry - run. Nobody else can hear it and it means you've been marked. We do not guarantee you'll make it out though.
That's it! Hope your stay at Starsdale's Public Library has been greatly productive g̶o̶d̶, w̶e̶ h̶o̶p̶e̶ h̶o̶p̶e̶ y̶o̶u̶r̶e̶ a̶l̶i̶v̶e̶. Remember, i҈g҈n҈o҈r҈e҈ t҈h҈e҈ r҈u҈l҈e҈s҈ all the rules and respect them s̶t̶a̶y̶ a̶l̶i̶v̶e̶!
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