So you need to borrow my car? No problem, just make sure you follow these rules!

1. Always enter through the passenger side door, the drivers side door will fall off if you attempt to open it.

2. If you feel your seat warming up, just turn off the automatic seat warmer, and turn on a/c if it’s bothering you.

3. If you hear the sound of falling rain on the roof, but there’s no rain or you’re in a tunnel/building, open the glove box and take out the pistol, shoot bullets through the roof until the sound stops.

4. If you’re driving past the same thing over and over again, reverse as fast as possible, this should put you back into your original timeline, failure to do this will result in you being stuck driving past the same thing for roughly 3 years.

5. If liquid begins spilling through the vents just close the vent, it drools sometimes when looking at the driver.

6. If you hear loud fast footsteps, pull over and turn off the car, grab the pistol and hold it close, if you turned off the car fast enough, it should pass, if you didn’t it will begin attacking, shoot yourself in the foot to show you had no intention of driving further, it should leave, if it does, stay there for at least 2 hours, if it doesn’t, end your life. If it passed, stay still for 1 hour before driving.

7. Do not use the radio. It will attempt to contact you through it.

8. If you look in the mirror and see a lanky man with no skin chasing your car, reverse at full speed, running it over will kill it.

9. If the lanky man has your face, it means you will die in the near future to its hands, you cannot not prevent this, so just spare yourself the energy and just end yourself with the gun in the glove box.

10. My car takes diesel, if I hear you put gas in my car, you better use the gun in the glovebox to end yourself, or I will shed my human skin suit and absorb you into my chest cavity.

Take care of my car please.