tw: lack of consent

So i do not mean dark romance or outright r*pe. I stay away from those books but they are usually very clear about their content so i know what not to read.

What makes me mad is how normalized the idea seems to be that if someone (usually the FMC) is eventually enjoying it then it doesn’t count as SA.

Like if she tells the MMC not to kiss her and pushes him away multiple times but ends up enjoying it later then its fine and its never looked at as something bad. And as someone who has had her consent (or lack there of ) ignored in the past is on the spectrum so even non-sexual touching can be a big no for me. Why is it seemingly considered okay? Even presented as romantic because “he just couldn’t control himself”

what are your thoughts?