I'm white, 5'6, 130lbs, slightly fit, averagely attractive (imho), and introverted (INT-J), with brown hair and garbage eyesight. I'm an extremely accommodating and affectionate man, and I'll be an obedient husband. I'm seeking a dominant woman aged 18 to early 30s, living within four hours from Livermore. I'm not interested in hookups, online relationships, or non-monogamy. I'll send SFW pics first if you can send your own in response.

Your needs, wants, comfort, and satisfaction will be my obsession. I like driving and I want to make myself convenient for you, so if you allow me to, we'll meet in your town and I'll drive us wherever you want while you control the music and AC. All I ask is that you're available all day and that we generally split the costs. Unless you tell me to take the lead, I'll follow you and do as you say. We would hopefully end the day snuggling somewhere cozy while watching cat videos or just talking. We can cuddle in the back seat of my car or on your bed, or on mine if you happen to be nearby. I'm normal and can be trusted with knowledge of where you sleep. You will be the sole instigator of physical contact. I won't try to pressure you into or suggest doing anything sexual, though in this post I'll get into what I'd do if you made the suggestion.

I'm generally a people pleaser, but when it comes to you, that would be an understatement. I love the idea of serving a woman who will let me cater to every desire she has, as long as she isn't just selfish and she expresses her appreciation for me. You can have nearly full control over joint decisions as well as some decisions that would typically be mine to make, like what I wear, but I'm not looking for a TPE dynamic. I want to generally feel equal, respected, and autonomous. I want to be your best friend most of the time, and your enthusiastically submissive servant for the rest.

About me:

I'm into animals, programming, crimes, piano, shooting, and cycling. Most of that is untrue. I write a program once every few months. I bought a decent piano years ago and have been procrastinating learning how to play. I don't even own a bicycle anymore since the one I stole got stolen. Rather than having hobbies, I have fixations that last a month but that I think about returning to constantly for years, like game development, 3D modeling, music creation, lock picking, mechanical tinkering, or card counting. The only consistent hobbies I have are watching youtube, eating the skin off my lower lip, and imagining how great everything would be if I was the president. I currently spend most of my time stacking paper and talking to myself.

I'll get back into gaming if you need a subby pocket medic who calls you Mommy in voice chat :3. I like nature but I really only go outside to go to work. I like trying new things, but I'm not motivated to go out alone. I'm into bands like AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes, and TOP. I absolutely LOVE speeding, especially at night, on foggy or rainy winding rural roads, while extremely tired and singing along to TOP. I'm very organized and sanitary. As a radical introvert, I never choose to be around other people. I'm socially awkward, yet I was able to swallow a hot dog in front of all of my coworkers, so anything is possible. I only drink socially, which means rarely. I've never done drugs, but I'll try anything once. I have two cringe associate's degrees, but I'll get a bachelor's in something at some point.

I will touch any wild animal that lets me get close. Birds that let their guard down will be yoinked. I relocate insects that get inside if they're cool enough. I had a lengthy conversation with an injured seagull. The ungrateful cunt bit my face even though I was being so nice to him. I drove him to a wildlife sanctuary and gave him to the only other guy who apparently doesn't hate seagulls. I'm currently trying to catch the stray cats at work by placing a can of sardines under a box that's propped up on one side by a stick. I'm waiting for them to get comfortable before I yank on the string attached to the stick, causing the box to fall and trap them underneath, at which point I'll hand feed them the remaining sardines and take them home. I think dog food smells good. Dolphins were always my favorite animal, and I won't denounce them for being a little freaky.

About you:

I'm only interested in dating a potential life partner, so our values need to align. I need complete agreement on any beliefs that actually affect how we live our lives. I'm an atheist/agnostic, so I'm not looking for anyone who's avidly religious. I'm fine with spirituality if it's a minor part of your life, but I'm not wasting my Sunday mornings. I voted for the orange fascist, and I'm only looking for a fellow fascist, centrist, or someone apolitical. I don't talk about politics publicly because I want to get along with everyone, but privately, I'm very annoyed by wokeness. I don't agree with the Republicans on everything. For example, while I hate Democrat politicians and the media, I hate fetuses much more. Sometimes I get so angry while thinking about fetuses that I have to take my revolver out of my desk and grip it really tight for a few minutes until I calm down. I'm also no longer homophobic thanks to all of the gay furry porn I've watched, though I would need you to be on the right when it comes to most other social issues.

The most important thing about you is that you're loyal. I don't want to hear from you if you've ever cheated or have even considered cheating. I honestly think that adultery should be a crime. Earning a person's undying trust and loyalty just to betray them is one of the most evil things someone can do. Polyamory and cuckoldry are also not up for consideration. You should be disgusted by the idea of sharing your partner or making him watch from the closet as a much more attractive and virile man shares inside you and makes your partner lap it up like a thirsty dog.

You need to be nearly as intelligent as me. The internet said I have an IQ of 135, which puts me in the 99th percentile. I don't expect you, as a woman, to be that smart, but you need to at least be able to decipher one of my secret languages and watch movies without needing me to explain the plot.

You need to be willing to communicate at all times. If there are no major incompatibilities between us, I believe we can solve all disagreements through respectful and healthy communication. I'm open minded and always willing to consider any sincere thoughts you want to share with me. I'll always be straightforward about how I feel, and I'll only keep two secrets. I never intend to lie, though I find it hard to be brutally honest. I'm not passive aggressive. I would expect all of the same attributes from you.

My only body requirements are that you're female and generally below 180 lbs. If you're tall or muscular, you may be healthy above that number, but it's already officially overweight at my height. I'm absolutely more shallow than I seem, and I'll politely reject any BBWs who message me. I don't care about cup size, height, hair color, or whatever, though if you're a tomboy who could choke me out, I'll pant and say awooga as my eyes pop out of their sockets and steam comes out of my ears. I don't care about race as long as you don't mind me being racist.

It would be great if you're into fitness or just going outside for whatever reason. I'd like to regularly accompany you to rock climbing gyms, shooting ranges, trails, tennis courts, or whatever you can think of, and we could be each other's motivators at the gym. I think watching sports is cringe, but I'd participate. I don't do any of that shit currently, which is why I'd like it if you did. Someone's gotta be the one to drag the other outside.

I'd love to belong to a badass woman who would join me to investigate a noise in the middle of the night, mag dump the intruder as he's running away, reload and mag dump him again, and liquify him with acid. It would be so hot if you could pay the bill at a restaurant without tipping, because tipping is stupid but I'm a huge pussy who's afraid of shame. You should also love creatures and be willing to touch them with me. Ideally, we would both like the same music and you can tell me to shut the fuck up when I start singing.

Long term:

The whole point of dating for me is to eventually get married. I'd wait at least a year, and I have no problem with you proposing instead. I don't believe in saving sex for marriage, but if you're the one for me, and you want me to prove my devotion by waiting, I'd be happy to. I don't care about my last name, so I'll gladly take yours. I actually don't care about my first name either, so you can pick a new one for me if you want.

My dream is to own a small house on a few acres with a bunch of animals, complete with the perfect woman who will always know that I love her and am so happy to belong to her. I'll be realistic, but I want cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, and bees. I'm not talking about a whole ass farm, just a nice variety of pets, some of which I can suck nourishing secretions out of. I also want a shooting range and a vegetable garden. All of our trees will bear a different fruit. I'm not planting any cringe trees that take our water and give us only dead leaves and worthless oxygen in return. We could also just live in a suburb if you want, since that all seems like a lot of work. Regardless, we will only have grass if it serves as goat food, which is my biggest requirement of all. Lawns are for boomers, and they're fucking stupid. I'm not wasting water just to make the grass taller so I can cut it back down every week. We'll have moss, and that's final. Moss and I are a package deal, so If you don't like moss, I don't like you.

I want kids. I'd like to adopt, but I don't want the government up my ass because you shouldn't have to share it. We could make a few or just steal newborns from people who don't deserve them, then say they came out of you. I'll get a vasectomy at any point after marriage when we've decided to cease production. I'd never consider having you use any kind of birth control that you don't like using. When we have kids, we're not just gonna give them brainrot machines so they leave us alone. I want to actually be a good parent, so I'm gonna feed them supplements and make them expand the vast tunnel system under our house, to build character. I'm not looking for a woman who already has children.

I don't have a solid idea of how much each of us should work. It would be nice if we could both work part time. If I'm going to be the provider, I'd want you to work part time at least until we have kids. If you already have a career and you want a stay at home husband, I'll work part time while also being your trad malewife. I'll wear a maid outfit while I clean the house and you can beat me if dinner isn't ready by the time you get home. Regardless, you can control the finances if you're good at saving and investing.

Love languages:

I've never been in a relationship so all of this is theoretical. All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy, but physical touch is my favorite. You can invade my personal space whenever you want. You can wait until we get comfortable or break the ice by sneaking a finger up my ass. If you want to cuddle, don't hesitate, because I do too. We can spend hours cuddling and I'll beg you to stay a little longer when it gets late. I'd appreciate any small physical interaction, like if you held my hand while I'm driving or hugged my arm while sitting next to me. I'd love it if you invited me to lay down next to you and rest my head on your lap as you slowly pet me and run your fingers through my hair. I'd also love to come to you from behind, wrapping my arms around you as I rest my chin on your shoulder. I like being submissive while cuddling, but I'll happily take up any position that lets us sink into each other.

I'd love to provide unprompted acts of service to let you know that you're always on my mind. I'd do chores for you, show up with your favorite drink, learn how to massage you, or really do whatever I think will make your day better. If you end up working more than me, I'll be your assistant and make sure you're completely free of all other obligations. I'll do anything I can to ease your pain and help you relax during your period. It's so cringe that you have to deal with that. If the Christians are right, that dumb bitch Eve is gonna catch these hands the moment I see her, that fucking cunt.

I'd give you gifts, but only thoughtful ones. I think cut flowers and diamonds are stupid. I don't like wasteful traditions, so don't expect an expensive wedding ring from me. If you propose, I don't want you wasting our money on an expensive ring either. I'm saving money to buy us a house, not a rock. Still, I'd love to give you meaningful gifts, without being limited to the few days every year when I'm expected to. I'd probably save them to surprise you with after a bad day.

Affirmation makes me super uncomfortable because I feel like I never deserve it, so you should force me to get used to it. I want to erase any stupid insecurities you might have, and I want you to convince me that you're glad I exist. Every morning I'd let you know that I'm thankful to have you next to me, or that I wish you could be next to me if you're not. I'd express my gratitude whenever you do something for me, on top of regularly expressing my appreciation of your company.

I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. For me, it's sad to try new things alone. I think new experiences are better when they're shared with someone special. I want to go everywhere and try everything with you, then have long conversations that go on for hours after we say we should be asleep.

Consent:

You deserve to always feel safe and to have complete control over your own body. You deserve to have all of your boundaries respected. I also want to feel safe and respected (though not always in control), so I'd delight in the opportunity to give you my consent for anything intimate. I think it's really sweet and sexy to let your partner know that you care more about making them feel safe and listened to than you do about wanting to fuck. You don't need my consent to grab my arm or something, but I won't touch you at all before getting yours. You're all but guaranteed to get a lengthy cuddle session with me if you ask, even if it's the first thing you ask me, but I won't be bitter if you never do. If we agree to meet, I feel entitled to not being stood up, but to nothing more than that. I'll understand if you need more than one date before you go somewhere private with a guy from the internet or if you just don't like me.

I'll actually cry if I feel like I made you feel afraid or disregarded. Eventually we would fully belong to each other, but for now I'll be so diligent in getting your consent that you might get annoyed. If you tell me beforehand that you want our first date to be platonic, but you predictably start getting carried away due to my flawless body and unmatched rizz, I'll kill the momentum and give you time to consider whether things are moving too fast for you. I don't want you to regret anything that happens between us. There's always next time to decide that we should go further, especially if we've been drinking. I'm not a male feminist, but men who think with their dicks are cringe. I genuinely don't want to have sex with anyone who isn't super enthusiastic and completely sure that they want me.

Sex:

God damn, this section takes up half the post. How embarrassing. It gets progressively more graphic, so you should skip to the conclusion if you feel like you've read too much, but I know you'll read the whole thing. You women are all the same. Anyway, I'd wait patiently if you wanted me to, but you should know about some of this stuff to make sure we're compatible.

My hard limits are the obviously gross stuff, severe sadism, findom, extreme ageplay (the creepy kind), cuckoldry, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff. If you're willing to be in a monogamous relationship, but polyamory or cuckoldry appeals to you even a little, then I'm not interested in you. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've secretly always wanted to use me as a toilet or change my diaper, I'm leaving with the kids. I also don't like humiliation, degradation, chastity cages, TPE, or anal, but it's okay if you do, and if you wanna don the strap I'll bounce on it and moan like a girl. I know there's a lot of jokes in this post, but that isn't one of them. I WILL let you fuck me with the strap, and I WILL moan femininely.

I'm actually kinda demisexual. I can recognize when a human woman is conventionally attractive, but I've never been tempted to stare at or "mentally undress" one of you as every other guy apparently does. I've also never cared about tits or ass, and never bothered to approach one of you in real life. I always thought my lack of interest in (and seemingly from) women was because I was a low T beta bitch, but it turns out I'm actually a hyper-masculine alpha who radiates male energy. A blood test showed that my testosterone levels are slightly above the healthy range, so I know now that women have simply been too intimidated to talk to me, and I've been too much of a sigma to waste my time on them. Don't worry, I should be able to subdue the raging beast that dwells inside me just long enough for a lovely date.

Don't be fooled into coming to the clearly absurd conclusion that I'm actually a repressed homosexual. It's super easy for women to turn me on physically, probably due to my lack of experience, while I've rarely, basically never, been turned on by a man. Still, even though I might need a change of pants if you touch my leg, the emotional connection is what I'm really interested in. I don't need sex at all. You may even get the impression, from the lack of sway that arousal has on my decision making, that I'm too sophisticated and evolved for your silly, primitive urges. Perhaps you'll even reach the realization that I'm superior to all of the filthy sex-havers on this planet, which I won't confirm or deny. Still, sex is fun, healthy, and a great way to bond, so I'd love to have a woman with a crazy high libido who can push me into the bedroom every day and drain me like a succubus.

I'll always use full protection until we both get tested, with no compromises aside from kissing, which I'll do with unparalleled passion. I don't have any STDs, and I don't plan on having any to share with my future soulmate. I'll get tested too even though I know I'm clean, because you deserve to have that peace of mind. Until then, I'd do as you say while staying safe. If that sounds boring, our second date can be at a clinic. We can hold hands while they draw our blood and you can comfort me because I'm afwaid of needles. Within a week, I could be eating your pussy like it's peanut butter. The reference there is that I really like peanut butter. I know you didn't get it, because you didn't know that about me, but now you do. I gained 15 pounds over two months because I was eating a scoop of peanut butter with every meal, ergo, in the scenario where your pussy is analogous to peanut butter, though absent the calories, it would indeed get ate often. Theoretically, if you put peanut butter down there, I would agree to subsist on only that, thus requiring myself to eat you out to survive, much like a beakless octopus.

If we have sex within the first few dates, your cuddles, affirmation, and company are all I would need in terms of reciprocation. Honestly, I'm a little scared to put my dick in someone before having a solid feeling that they're gonna matter to me for a long time, though I don't know if I would still feel that way in the moment. I feel vulnerable when I think about receiving that kind of pleasure from someone. I'm more comfortable with the thought of giving pleasure. In fact, I really want to give pleasure, so if thinking about reciprocation makes it harder for you to give in, I'd be happy to reassure you that I want to focus on you all night. If I like you, I'll be excited to please you in any way you tell me to for as long as you want. If you just hold me, encourage me, and instruct me, then becoming an expert in pleasing you will be enjoyable for both of us. I have no actual experience, but I'm apparently a good kisser, and I'm completely willing to do as I'm told, exactly as I'm told to do it. I'll humbly trust that the only person who knows how to best please you is you, so I know I would be able to give you a wonderful night. With all that being said, please don't lead me on just so you can use me for sex. If I'm gonna be your sex toy, I'll need to know that this is heading somewhere, because I don't plan on only ever giving pleasure forever.

My fetishes are gentle femdom, somewhat less gentle femdom, foreplay, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation, teasing, begging, praise, cunnilingus, creampies, breeding, body worship, aftercare, and mommy/mistress/puppy/good boy talk. As you can see, I have the best fetishes, not the cringey porn-brained stuff that many other guys are into. I'd like to experiment with bondage, pegging, choking, CNC, light pain, and absolutely anything else I haven't mentioned that doesn't make either of us feel unloved or inadequate. I'm incredibly turned on and motivated by involuntary reactions to pleasure like twitching, throbbing, moaning, muscle contractions, and facial expressions. If you're capable of having dozens of orgasms or lengthy, intense orgasms, I'll be in heaven. When it comes to your body, I'm mostly excited by your face, pussy, and brain (so cringe). Still, while those parts are what spark my interest the most, I will gladly kiss, lick, nibble, grab, and caress every inch of your skin.

As a service-oriented sub, providing service is my biggest turn on. I can act dominant if you order me to, but it feels natural to be womanhandled. If you want me to do all the work, you can command me or let me respond to your body language. If you want to take full control, you can push me down and use me as your toy. You can be rough with me. I'd love to feel your power over me as you move me into different positions, grabbing any part of my body and putting it wherever you want. I want to be whatever you need me to be in order to give you all of the pleasure you deserve. Once we're official, my entire body will belong solely to you, and any part of it will meet any part of yours for as long as you command. Through it all, I'll be in ecstasy over the thought that you are too. I can beg desperately for reciprocation or just shut up and enthusiastically enjoy my role as your source of pleasure. We can focus on me if you'd like, but I may beg for your permission to serve you first. I'll belong to you completely, so I'll only behave in the ways you want me to, and you'll always get what you want from me in the end.

While I don't want to wear a cage, I like being teased with the threat of chastity and I'm open to using it as a form of punishment if necessary. My pleasure should be earned, then dispersed at your discretion. You can promise to reward me after I give you ten orgasms. If my hands ever leave your body and wander towards mine, you'll scold me and let me know that's an additional orgasm I'll have to give you, so I'll have no choice but to continue pleasuring only you as I leak precum and desperately thrust into the air. After five, I'll say "halfway there, right Mommy?" and you'll say "Sure puppy, if you keep being a good boy for me." I'll get more and more excited, then at ten, I'll ask if it's finally my turn. You'll say "Maybe if you beg for it like a good little puppy," then, "Aww, you're so cute when you're desperate. Keep being a good boy for Mommy and maybe I'll let you cum later." I'll respond enthusiastically with "Yes Mommy, I love you" and give you a big kiss before getting back to work. Eventually, if you graciously decide to switch things up, you'll say "My good little puppy made his Mommy feel so good, I think he deserves a reward" and you'll definitely be able to tell how thankful and excited I am. You can spend as much or as little time as you want keeping me on the edge. When I know I can't take it anymore, I'll beg for your permission to cum. Maybe you'll decide before I cum that you actually aren't ready to give me that release yet, and you just wanted to turn me into a complete mess before sending me back down between your legs. If my efforts were somehow insufficient, which would be based solely and rightfully on your opinion, we should skip my orgasm and go straight to aftercare. I want to know that when you call me a good boy and give me my release, it's because I truly earned it by being everything you need. To be clear, I don't anticipate that I'll leave you unsatisfied very often, but if I ever do, that would be a great opportunity to prove that my pleasure must be earned.

If you'd prefer to comfort me instead of doing the female superiority thing, that's just as good. I'll offer to satisfy you first, but you can assure me that I've already earned my reward by being yours. You can ride me slowly as you hold me and softly tell me that you'll always be there for me. I'll tell you I love you and you'll say "Shhhh, I know you do. You're such a good boy, just relax for me." I'll comply and lay there as you pet me and whisper things that make me feel completely and unconditionally loved. I'll whimper with every exhale, and you can call me cute and encourage me to cum inside you. I'll whine out "I'm getting close mommy" (or mistress or whatever you prefer to be called) and you'll grab my hands and say "It's okay. Let it all out for Mommy. Good boy, I love you so much. You're my perfect little pet and I'll always be here to make you feel better."

I hope that, like me, you're aroused both by the idea of me being yours to exploit and being yours to nurture. If I've had a long day, your mommy instincts should kick in and drive you to comfort me. When you're justly establishing your dominance over me instead, I don't want to be insulted or made to feel worthless, rather, I prefer to be playfully teased and reminded that I'm there to satisfy your urges, and praised when I do.

I'd like to try being completely bound and gagged so you know that I trust you even while I'm unable to resist or even utter an objection. You could do whatever you want to my body. You could edge me while I buck my hips in desperation, then use toys to overstimulate me while you watch me struggle and squirm. You could take off the gag and ride my face while a pool of precum forms on my stomach. We could combine it with CNC and breeding, forcing me to impregnate you. I like the idea of fulfilling my purpose by shooting my genes into the woman I was designed to mate with. I probably shouldn't actually pass on my short, socially anxious, stupid idiot genes, but we could pretend.

I'm genuinely not into feet. I may joke about sucking toes, but I also joke about being gay and sucking meaty cocks, and I only did that twice. I'm not into feet, but your entire body is beautiful and deserves to be worshiped, so I'll kiss yours. I just don't want to suck the sweat from your toes or get a footjob, because I don't have a foot fetish. If I did have a foot fetish, I'd like them a little sweaty from a short jog. You could shove them right into my face and I'd give them a big whiff and lick them from heel to toe, then I'd suck each toe for a full minute and trim your toenails with my teeth, but that's not for me.

Every single orgasm I have will require your permission. It would be like I was wearing a chastity cage, if the cage was made out of trust. If you don't want to have sex during your period or for any other reason, I'll insist on waiting for you. I'll always be yours to lovingly use, but if you're not in the mood and you don't want me to try to get you into it, then we won't have sex, and I won't cum until we do. I'll be your sex toy. Sex will start and end whenever you choose, regardless of when I cum, not just because I can stay aroused through multiple orgasms, but because you deserve to have absolute control in the bedroom. I will never watch porn or masturbate, unless ordered to. I have no right to say you shouldn't masturbate if I'm not around, but you know we would both enjoy it if you've been ready for hours by the time I walk through your door. If you drag me directly to the bedroom, I won't waste any time doing what I was designed to do.

I don't last very long, but I don't think that's a downside. During mostly-clothed foreplay, which is the farthest I've gotten, I'll leak through my pants and I'll be incredibly sensitive to any gentle touches on my thighs and abdomen. I honestly think I'd cum just from having my head grabbed and shoved down between your thighs, where I could smell, taste, and pleasure you. I'd hope that it would be incredibly arousing for you to see me cum despite me focusing completely on you. If I do cum right away, it's okay because I can cum many times. Even if I couldn't, my orgasm wouldn't stop me from continuing to do exactly as you say.

Dick stats: 6.5 inches hard (7 before the feds stole half an inch), 4 inches flaccid, 6 inches around, uncut gang, aggressive 40 degree curve, leftist, leaks like a faucet, has an extra hole, no refractory period, shaved (trying hair removal, pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 20x40mm (as measured with calipers). Also, I have lots of CUM in my BALLS that I need to get rid of so you can have a bunch when you leave. It's all perfectly good, I just have too much!!!

Conclusion:

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's normal, but if a guy is, that's apparently "not an appropriate subject to discuss in the workplace" and I'm supposedly "fired" and "criminally trespassed from these premises". I'm not looking for a kink dispenser, and I hope that the extensive detail in the previous section doesn't imply that I am. I'm just hoping that putting everything out there will help you decide if I'm worth messaging. I want to have a good time with you at whatever pace you're comfortable with. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place to cuddle and pet your dogs (please).

If you're interested, tell me about all the things you think make us compatible, and whether you read all the cringe sexual stuff or skipped to the end at some point. Send me a good message with enough information about yourself so that I can easily respond to it. Don't make it anywhere near as long as this, because there are still a few things to get out of the way, and I don't want to waste your time. If we're not compatible or you're too far away, but your goofy ass read this whole post anyway, I'd appreciate any critiques you could offer. We could chat a little about femdom or FLRs, but I don't need online friends.