I need a dominant woman who can make me her perfect subby husband. I have no interest in hookups, online relationships, or non-monogamy. I'm 24, white, 5'6, 135lbs, kinda fit, averagely attractive (imho), introverted (INT-J), and 'inexperienced'. I have garbage eyesight and sparse body hair. I'm extremely stoic around everyone, but I would like to find a special woman to be vulnerable and extremely cuddly with. You should be in your 20s or 30s and living within four hours from Livermore. I'm in no rush to have sex, but when you're ready, I'll be ready to give you everything you want whenever you want it. I can send SFW pics if you can send your own in response.

Your needs, wants, and comfort are my top priority. I like driving and I want to make myself convenient for you, so I'll drive up to three hours to pick you up from your house or to meet at your favorite first date spot. If I spend six hours driving, all I ask is that we plan for a long date and that we split the cost, so lunch is on you. Unless you tell me to take the lead, you'll make every decision for us while I take mental notes on how to keep you satisfied. If you're ok with it, I'd like to drive you around while you play your favorite music for me. We would hopefully end the day snuggled up somewhere cozy while watching cat videos or just talking. We can cuddle in the back seat of my car or on your bed if you trust me like that. You will be the sole instigator of any and all physical contact, and I won't try to pressure you into doing anything.

I'm generally a people pleaser, but when it comes to you, that would be an understatement. I love the idea of serving you and catering to your every desire. I'm not talking about a total power exchange. I'd be respected as your equal and you would value my opinions just as much as I value yours. I don't want to be bossed around and controlled, rather, I want to make my own desires secondary to yours almost all of the time so I can feel confident that I deserve you. What's most important to understand about this dynamic is that I'm not looking for a woman who is selfish and entitled. I want to feel appreciated, emotionally supported, and loved. You should have a similar urge to sacrifice for me, but you should ignore it so I can give into mine. Just think of it as a relationship where every day is your birthday, so I get to spoil you.

About me:

I'm into animals, programming, crimes, watching animations, piano, shooting, and cycling. Most of that is untrue. I write a program once every few months. I bought a decent piano years ago and have been procrastinating learning how to play. I never go shooting. I don't even own a bicycle anymore since the one I stole got stolen.

Rather than having hobbies, I have fixations that last a month but that I think about returning to constantly for years, like 3D modeling and game development, piano and music creation, lock picking, mechanical tinkering, or card counting. The only consistent hobbies I have are watching youtube, eating the skin off my lower lip, and imagining how great everything would be if I was at the top of the new world order. I currently spend most of my time stacking paper, being a sigma, and treading water emotionally.

I can get back into gaming if you want me to be your subby pocket medic who calls you mommy in voice chat :3. I like nature but I don't get out much aside from work. I think watching sports is cringe, but I'd participate in them. I listen to alt rock and I'll suck you off if you're into bands like AM, CWK, FOB, GA, ID, Joywave, Muse, RHCP, The Strokes and TOP. I love speeding, especially at night, in fog or rain, while extremely tired, and on winding back roads. I like to make people uncomfortable by being vaguely threatening and unnecessarily hostile whenever I can, because it's funny.

I'm very organized and sanitary. As a radical introvert, I never choose to be around other people. I'm socially awkward, but not dangerously so. I can swallow a hotdog, and have done so in front of dozens of witnesses. I only drink in social situations, which are obviously rare. I've never done drugs, but I'll try anything once. I have two cringe associate's degrees, but I'll get a bachelor's in something at some point.

I will touch any wild animal that lets me get close. I try to snatch up birds that let their guard down. I relocate non-annoying insects that get inside. My last two roommates were gay spiders. I picked up and had a lengthy conversation with an injured seagull. I was being so polite, but the ungrateful cunt tried to bite my face the entire time, and he succeeded. I drove him to a wildlife sanctuary and gave him to the only other guy who apparently doesn't hate seagulls. I want to get a cat. I think dog food smells good. Dolphins were always my favorite animal, and I refuse to denounce them.

I think dating someone with opposing religious or political beliefs is stupid, so stop wasting your time reading this if we're not compatible. I'm an atheist/agnostic, so I'm not looking for anyone who's avidly religious. I'm fine with spirituality if it's a minor part of your life, but I'm not going to church on Sundays and letting them indoctrinate our kids. Although voting is a scam and abortion is epic, I'd vote Republican. I don't hate anyone aside from the media and Democrat politicians, but I'm kinda edgy and cringe, so I say appalling, nefarious things that will make you want to kill me with a hammer. Despite that, I think I'm basically moderate. Most political issues don't really matter since I can't do anything about them, but there's one we need to agree on.

About you:

The most important thing for me is that you're intelligent and communicative. You need to be able to watch a movie without needing me to explain the plot. You need to be open minded and not prone to shutting down when you hear something you disagree with. I don't plan on having petty arguments and dealing with passive aggression.

Loyalty and monogamy are incredibly important, so I don't want you if you have ever cheated or have even considered polyamory or cuckoldry. You should be disgusted by the idea of including a third person in our relationship.

I have no intrinsic body requirements beyond you being female and not officially obese. I'm not picky about cup size, height, hair color, or whatever, but fit tomboys make me say awooga and pant like a dog as my eyes pop out of their sockets. I'd like to go out to rock climbing gyms, shooting ranges, trails, tennis courts, or whatever you can think of. We would make great workout partners.

I'd love to belong to a badass woman who would join me to check out a noise downstairs in the middle of the night, mag dump the burglar as he's running away, reload and mag dump him again, and liquify him with acid. It would be epic if you could pay the bill at a restaurant without tipping, because tipping is fucking stupid but I'm too much of a bitch to be the one to not tip. You should also love animals and be willing to touch them with me.

Long term:

I'm not a femboy or a cross dresser, but you can make me wear anything. I'll be your canvas If you need someone to practice makeup, hair styles, or drawing on, and I'll go out in public like that because I don't care. My pet name will go on the collar of my catboy outfit. The cat ears will stay ON for my driver's license renewal photo.

I will modify my body and behavior in order to become your perfect husband. I'll do whatever I must to make myself more interesting, more athletic, more attractive in your eyes, a better lover, or in any way more worthy of being yours. I'll explain my 'generosity' later in excruciating detail, but I'll say now that I would be thrilled to learn every intricacy of your mind and body so that I can be the only expert in pleasing you.

There's no point in dating if there's no possibility of marriage. I'd wait for at least a year before popping the question, and I have no problem with you asking instead. I don't believe in saving sex for marriage, but if you're the perfect woman for me, and you want me to prove my devotion by waiting, I'd be happy to. I don't care about my last name, so I'll gladly take yours. I actually don't care about my first name either, so you can pick a new one for me if you want.

My dream is to own a small house on a few acres with a bunch of animals, complete with the perfect woman who will always know that I love her and am so happy to belong to her. I'll be realistic, but I want cats, a husky, fish, chickens, ducks, goats, and an adorable jumping spider. I'm not talking about a whole ass farm, just a nice variety of pets, some of which I can suck eggs out of. I also want a shooting range and a vegetable garden. All of our trees will bear a different fruit. I'm not planting any cringe trees that take our water and give us only dead leaves and worthless oxygen in return.

We will NOT have a lawn unless we have goats to eat it, which is my biggest requirement. Grass is for boomers, and it's fucking stupid. I'm not cutting that shit every week just to waste water to make it grow back. We'll have moss, and that's final. Moss and I are a package deal, so If you don't like moss, I don't like you.

I want kids. I'd like to adopt, but I don't want the government up my ass because you shouldn't have to share it. We could make a few or just steal newborns from people who don't deserve them, then say they came out of you. I'll get a vasectomy whenever we decide to cease production. We're not just gonna hand our kids brainrot machines so they leave us alone. I want to actually be a good parent and create successful, stable, happy people. I'm gonna inject them with supplements and make them expand the vast tunnel system under our house, to build character.

Love languages:

Since I've never been in a relationship, everything past this point is technically theoretical, but it sounds nice in my head. All of the love languages make me feel fuzzy, but physical touch might be my favorite. You automatically have my consent to touch or grab me anywhere, whenever you want. You can wait until we get comfortable or break the ice by sneaking a finger up my ass. I want to forfeit my own personal space to you. You can and should, regardless of who's looking, spontaneously pet me, squeeze me, nuzzle me, hold my hand, play with my fingers, draw on me, grab my arm and pull yourself into me, or beat me up and steal my car. Any contact makes me feel wanted and appreciated.

I'm ready to cuddle whenever you are. I'm so ready. You don't need to ask me at any point if I want to cuddle, because I'm telling you now that I'd love it if you held me and ordered me to hold you. Without warning, you can set me up how you want me and use my body to make yourself cozy. Don't leave it up to me to remind you - just remember I said this and wrap your arms around me. We could do nothing but cuddle for hours, and I'll still beg you not to go when it gets late. You could stay the night with me in your arms and I'll make you breakfast in the morning.

I hope you like acts of service, because I want to make your life easy. I'd love to let you know that you're always on my mind by doing things for you unprompted. I'd like it if you did the same, but if only one of us is going to get our hands dirty, you should relax, then when I'm done running errands for you, I'll give you a massage if you're feeling a little sore. I'll do anything I can to ease your pain and stress when you're on your period. It's so cringe that you have to deal with that. If the Christians are right, that dumb bitch Eve is gonna catch these hands the moment I see her, that fucking cunt.

I love to give gifts, but only thoughtful ones. I think cut flowers and diamonds are stupid. I'm looking for a woman who's practical, not materialistic or wastefully traditional, so don't expect an expensive wedding ring from me. I'm saving up to buy us a house, not a rock. Still, I'd love to constantly show up with a drink you like or some other gift. I'm used to getting shitty gifts, so it would be nice to occasionally receive something thoughtful from the woman who knows me better than anyone.

Affirmation makes me super uncomfortable because I feel like I never deserve it. You should make me uncomfortable until I get used to it. If I've earned a compliment, you should give it to me and order me to accept it. I want to make you feel appreciated at all times, and I never want you to forget it, so I'd like to give you affirmations every day. I want to cure your insecurities and make you feel as perfect as you hopefully are in my eyes. I want to make you feel like a stupid idiot for doubting yourself and I want you to convince me that you're glad I exist. I want to start every morning we're together by letting you know that I'm thankful to have you next to me, and every morning we're apart by excitedly checking my phone to see if you're awake before letting you know that I wish you were next to me.

I want to spend as much quality time with you as possible. I want to go everywhere and try everything with you. Whenever I try something new, it makes me a little sad to think about how I'm doing it alone. I think new experiences are better when they're shared with someone special. When we're tired from going everywhere and doing everything, I want to have long conversations with you that last hours after we say we should go to sleep.

Consent:

I think consent is super hot, and I promise I'm not just stating what I think you want to hear. I hope that, by writing so personally and extensively, I come off as genuine enough to probably be telling the truth about this. I want to establish a special connection with you, and that starts with mutual respect for each other's bodily autonomy. Waiting for permission to touch you is the best way to make you feel listened to and appreciated, which if you haven't noticed, I've got a bit of a thing for. I also want to feel that way, so I'd love to get the opportunity to give you my consent for anything more intimate than cuddling. You already have my consent to touch me platonically, but I'll wait patiently for yours.

I understand that I'm probably stronger than you, and that you've possibly met a few guys who don't take consent seriously. I could comfortably get in your car the second I meet you and step into your house in a city I've never been in without feeling any fear. It's a shame that you likely can't do the same, but I'll quickly make you feel safe around me.

I will never cross the limits you set for me. Without trying to sound like a "nice guy", I couldn't possibly respect your consent any more than I do. I'll hate myself twice as much as you do if I betray your trust. I'll actually cry if I feel like I overstepped your boundaries and made you feel afraid or disregarded. I'm very cautious, to the point where you might get annoyed. Someday we should fully belong to each other, with enough trust and understanding to treat each other's bodies as our own. Until then, I want to make sure you feel safe and valued by always asking for your consent before touching you in any way. I might annoy you with how careful I am about it.

If you tell me beforehand that you want our first date to be platonic, but you predictably start getting carried away due to my flawless body and unmatched rizz, I'll kill the momentum and give you time to consider whether things are moving too fast for you. I don't want you to regret anything that happens between us. There's always next time to decide that we should go further, especially if we've been drinking. I'm not a modern day feminist, but men who think with their dicks and are overbearing with their advances are extremely cringe. I genuinely don't want to have sex with anyone unless they're super enthusiastic about it.

Sex:

I'll wait patiently for you to make a move, but when you do, we'll need to be sexually compatible, so here's way too much info on that.

My hard limits are the obviously gross stuff, feet, humiliation, degradation, *severe* pain, CBT, chastity, cuckoldry, forced bi, findom, ageplay, TPE, and polyamory. Please stay away if you're into that stuff, especially anything non-monogamous. If you're willing to be in a monogamous relationship, but polyamory or cuckoldry appeals to you even a little, then I'm not interested in you. If you tell me on our 10 year anniversary that you've secretly always wanted to use me as a toilet or fuck another guy while I watch, I'm leaving with the kids. I think anal is gross. If you get nothing out of it we can just never go there, but if you wanna don the strap I'll bounce on it and moan like a girl.

I'll always use full protection until we both get tested, with no compromises aside from kissing, which I'll do with unparalleled passion. I don't have any STDs, and I don't plan on having any to share with my future soulmate. It's not personal, and I'll get tested too even though I know I'm clean, because you deserve to have that peace of mind.

I'd categorize myself as slightly demisexual. Whenever I see a hot human woman, I can recognize that she is conventionally attractive, but I've never been tempted to stare at or "mentally undress" her as all other guys apparently do. I've also never cared about tits or ass. I might just be a low T beta bitch. I'm actually very easy to turn on due to my lack of contact, but the emotional bond is what I'm really interested in. I don't need sex, but it's fun and healthy, so I'd love to have a woman with a crazy high libido who can push me into the bedroom every day and drain me like a succubus.

I'm happy with anything we can do together. If you want me to finger you, play with your nipples, and suck on your tongue in order to make you cum as many times as you demand, but you're uncomfortable with reciprocating, that's ok as long as we can cuddle afterwards. Being able to give you what you want while feeling appreciated for it is all the reciprocation I need.

The rest is explicitly about my fetishes. You could read until you've read too much if you're curious, or just skip to the conclusion now.

As a service-oriented sub, providing service is my biggest turn on. I can dom if you order me to, but it feels natural to be womanhandled. If you want me to do all the work, you can command me or let me respond to your body language. If you want to take full control, you can push me down and use me as your toy. I want to be whatever you need me to be in order to give you all of the pleasure you deserve. All parts of my body belong solely to you, and they can meet any part of yours for as long as you command. Through it all, I'll be in ecstasy over the thought that you are too. I can beg desperately for reciprocation or just shut up and enthusiastically enjoy my role as your source of pleasure. We can focus on me instead if you'd like. I may beg for your permission to serve you first, but I can't refuse if you order me to relax. Even if you want me to beg or resist, I belong to you completely, so you must always get what you want from me in the end.

For specific fetishes, I like gentle femdom, foreplay, edging, orgasm control, overstimulation, teasing, begging, praise, cunnilingus, creampies, breeding, body worship, aftercare, and mommy/mistress/puppy/good boy talk. I'm incredibly turned on and motivated by involuntary reactions to pleasure like twitching, throbbing, moaning, muscle contractions, and facial expressions. I'd like to experiment with bondage, pegging, prostate stimulation, choking, CNC, some light pain, and anything else I haven't mentioned that doesn't make either of us feel unloved or inadequate. When it comes to your body, I'm mostly excited by your face, pussy, and brain (so cringe). Still, while those parts are what spark my interest the most, I will gladly kiss, lick, nibble, grab, and caress every inch of your skin.

I did say I'm not into chastity, but I like being teased with the threat of it. I don't want to wear a cage, but If I fail to make you feel fully satisfied, then I have failed to earn my own pleasure. I should beg to be allowed to cum after giving you ten orgasms. I'll get more and more excited for my reward with each one, as you constantly remind me that my body is made for your pleasure. If we hit ten and you're still too busy enjoying my tongue to give me the release I was expecting, you can order me to continue, and I'll continue until you order me to stop. If you then decide that we're both done, you can let me come down anticlimactically and think about how I can better serve you next time. If instead, you graciously decide that your good boy deserves a reward, I'll be eager to let you know how thankful I am. I'll be so thankful that my wonderful, generous mommy/mistress (whichever you prefer) loves me enough to let me cum that you'll have to push me down and force my reward onto me to stop me from excitedly kissing you all over. I want to know that when you call me a good boy and give me my release, it's because I truly earned it by being everything you need.

Every orgasm I have will require your permission. If you don't want to have sex during your period or for any other reason, I'll insist on waiting for you. I will never watch porn or masturbate, unless ordered to. I hope you will always wait until you can use me when you need to get off. I have no right to stop you from masturbating if you're horny and I'm not around, but you know we would both enjoy it if you're extremely pent up when I get home. If you drag me to the bedroom and pull my face into your pussy the moment I walk through the door, I won't waste any time. You could order me to edge when we're apart so that I'm just as desperate. If I ever accidentally cum while edging for you, I will tell you immediately and make it up to you in any way I can.

If you'd prefer to comfort me instead of doing the female superiority thing, that's just as good. You can ride me slowly as you hold me and softly tell me that you'll always be here for me because I'm your perfect boy. I'll tell you I love you and you'll say "Shhhh, I know you do. You're such a good boy, just relax for me." I'll do as you command and just lay there as you pet me and whisper things that make me feel completely and unconditionally loved. I'll whimper with every exhale, and you can call me cute and encourage me to cum inside you. I'll whine out that I'm close and you'll say "Let it all out for Mommy. Good boy, I love you so much. You're my perfect little pet and I'll always be here for you."

I hope that, like me, you're turned on both by the idea of me being yours to exploit and being yours to nurture. Obsessing over your pleasure until I've earned my reward is extremely arousing, but so is the inverse of that. If I've had a long day, your mommy dom instincts should kick in and drive you to comfort me. When you're allowing yourself to be selfish instead, I don't want to be put down or made to feel worthless. Rather than being insulted or degraded, I prefer to be playfully teased about how horny I am and how much I wish I could cum as you remind me that your pleasure is infinitely more important.

I'm genuinely not into feet. I may joke about sucking toes, but I also joke about sucking dicks, and I only sucked dick twice. I'm not into feet, but your entire body is beautiful and deserves to be worshiped, so I'll kiss yours. I just don't want to suck the sweat from your toes or get a footjob, because I don't have a foot fetish. If I did have a foot fetish, I'd like them petite and a little sweaty from a short jog. You could shove them right into my face and I'd give them a big whiff and lick them from heel to toe, then I'd suck each toe for a full minute and trim your toenails with my teeth, but I'm not into that.

Dick stats: 6.5 inches hard, 4 inches flaccid, 6 inches around, uncut gang, aggressive 40 degree curve, leans left, leaks like a faucet, has an extra hole, no refractory period, shaved (trying hair removal, pubic hair disgusts me), balls are 20x40mm (measured with calipers)

Conclusion:

I don't see myself as a fetishist just because I'm submissive. If a woman is submissive, that's "normal", but if a guy is, that's apparently "not appropriate work talk", and I'm supposedly "fired". I'm just trying to find my perfect match. Our date can be totally platonic. I'll focus on giving you a good time and lots of attention. I don't expect you to do anything you're uncomfortable with, but I hope we can cuddle extensively. I welcome whatever fun activities you have in mind, like going back to your place and petting your dogs (please).

If you're interested, tell me about all the things you think could make us compatible, as well as whether you read all that cringe or skipped to the end at some point. Don't waste your time with something super long like this, but give me something to work with. If we're not compatible or you're too far away, but your goofy ass read this whole post anyway, feel free to message me.