I want to watch rain patter against the windows as we snuggle on the couch, warm and cozy together.

I want to whisper hopes, dreams, and secrets into the wee hours of the night.

I want the collar around my neck to feel like a badge of honor, knowing it's from you.

I want to hold hands on long walks somewhere beautiful: a forest, a beach, a scenic neighborhood, take your pick.

I want to bake you treats and hear you say, "Oh my god, that's so good."

I want to feel warm and fuzzy when you say I've done a good job, made your life easier, or otherwise been a good boy.

I want us to look in one another's eyes and feel absolute safety and trust when the whips, chains, or other implements come out.

I want us to be the other's first thought when we wake up from a scary dream.

I want our hearts to swell with pride when you say, "He's my submissive."

I want us to look at each other and feel like the luckiest people alive.

I want us to be like peanut butter and chocolate: complete on our own, amazing together.

If you are a dominant or switch-y woman open to a relationship with a submissive man, I may be able to further enrich your life.

Who I am (vanilla)

I'm a 32-year-old man who values creativity, intelligence, and dedication. My personality can best be summed up as...

• I'm extremely passionate about things and people that matter to me. If I'm fascinated by a topic, I can write about it for thousands of pages. If I value a person, picking them up at 3 AM from the airport is nothing.
• I'm an introvert and prioritize few but close relationships over many casual ones. An evening reading, cooking, or going on a walk is more fun to me than a night of clubbing. (Or all three! That sounds like a rad date with a partner.)
• I'm meticulous and detail-oriented. There are no facts too small or insignificant for me to overlook. If I was mugged by a man wearing mismatching socks, I'd probably observe afterwards that his outfit could be better coordinated. In the moment, I'd hand him a dummy wallet with a few bucks and expired credit cards, because I'm meticulous in practical ways too.
• I'm endlessly curious. I'm constantly learning and researching things. I can regale people with factoids from the practical to the esoteric. (Did you know that Kim Jong-Il once stole a bunch of giant German bunny rabbits?!) It is very rare that I find myself bored. The world is too interesting.
• I'm logically driven. I'm a facts first, feelings second person. (Although pragmatic enough to realize the world usually operates on feelings!) I always side with Spock over Bones in Star Trek.
• I don't consider myself competitive or aggressive. But I'm stubborn as a mule when I've decided something (or someone) is important to me.
• I'm a stable person not inclined to take risks. I can be counted on to follow through on commitments. Friends and partners have found me a dependable presence in their lives.
• I value wit and cleverness, particularly in unexpected places. I recently browsed a restaurant's website and chuckled when it said about children "Dining as a family is an art best practiced long before your reservation. For the communal sake of our dining room, please choose wisely."
• I have strong opinions and convictions. I respect strength in others. I define strength as remaining true to one's values despite external pressures. Some of my proudest moments are ones where I felt I did so.
• My sense of humor errs towards the droll, the dry, and the wry. (Which sounds like a baking recipe?) Random things can make me giggle for minutes. If I was locked in lab for study, observers' notes might read, "Subject appears to laugh randomly."
• My primary love language is quality time, followed by words of affirmation. Cooking and baking for someone is another favorite way of mine to express affection.

Some of my biggest interests include:

• Reading, creative writing, films, tabletop RPGs (all four frequently from the fantasy, sci fi, and horror genres), history, cooking and baking, spending time with cats, personal fitness, and researching whatever random topics grab my interest.

• The common thread that many of these interests share is learning and creative self-expression. One of my favorite authors, J.R.R. Tolkien, viewed creation as a divine act that lets us imbue the best parts of themselves into our creative works. This is true for everthing I create, whether it's a batch of cookies or a chapter in a story. It will be meticulously researched, with high attention to accuracy and weaving little things together into a greater whole.

• I love learning new things, value partners who can expose me to new interests and experiences (and vice versa) while still sharing common ones. I value compatible personalities most of all, though. Sharing the same interests is moot if you drive each other crazy!

Physically, I'm 5'5", slender, Caucasian, brown-haired, brown-eyed, and have a short beard. I was once described by an acquaintance as "a handsome devil." Facetiously? Seriously? I choose to repost those words either way! Happy to share pictures upon request.

Who I am (kinky)

• I'm a submissive (not a bottom or slave) man who's been involved in kink on and off for around two years. I've served multiple dommes in various capacities and am grateful to each for all I learned.

• I'm service-oriented. I find fulfillment through being of service to my partner and knowing I've made her life more pleasant. That might be through cooking, cleaning, yard work, running errands, locating the name of that elusive song on the tip of her tongue--every partner has different things she wants. I could probably have found fulfillment in prior eras as the butler for a great manor house.

• I'd describe myself as a good boy. Earning words of praise from a partner, and knowing I've made her happy, makes me glow.

• I thrive under structure and routine with clear expectations and consequences. I am detail-oriented and sometimes pedantic. I love understanding rules and systems and discovering optimal ways to follow them. Learning a partner's wants and expectations is like putting together a puzzle: I'm beholding something beautiful and intricate, and feel like I've accomplished something worthy by doing so.

• I value punishment without liking it. Being punished means I've failed my partner. That's bad. But if I'm always meeting expectations, that probably means they're too low--and that I can be pushed to do better! I always want to feel like there is farther I can go to make my partner happy and earn her approval.

• I'm happy to take initiative, volunteer opinions and ideas, and undertake goals independently. I love being told what to do, but figuring out what to do myself is no problem. I believe a submissive who needs constant direction like a lost puppy is a liability rather than asset to their partner. I'd liken myself more to a sheep dog that can independently do what it's trained for (if its owner so desires), but happily come running on command.

What I have to offer (vanilla & kinky)

In alphabetical order...

• Commitment: I'm good at organizing and persisting with long-term tasks and projects. I've been GMing my current RPG group for nine years and written 11,000 pages of fiction with them.
• Communication: I'm a direct but tactful communicator. I firmly believe that addressing issues promptly is the best way to resolve them.
• Conversation: I'm well-read on a variety of topics and can provide engaging conversation.
• Cooking: I'm an adept cook and baker. I'm capable of independently brainstorming and preparing multi-course delicious and healthy meals. Or sinfully decadent, as desired--in my favorite chef's words, "Fat is flavor!"
• Criticism: I take personal criticism well. When I make an error, I want to know ASAP so that I can fix the error.
• Experience: I've explored kink with prior partners. I've attended kink events and educated myself through reading. I'm not an expert, but I'm not new at this.
• Finances: I'm responsible there. I have a steady job, excellent credit, and zero debt.
• Health: I take good care of myself. I'm drug-free, STI-free, exercise regularly, don't smoke or drink, and am conscientious about my nutritional intake. My grandfather lived until 94: I want to do that too!
• History: My reddit account has a long posting and comment history. You can peruse it to get a better sense of what I'm like outside of this ad. (I'm happy to share a link to my SFW account upon request, too.)
• Housekeeping: I have multiple years' professional experience cleaning from a prior job and can keep a tidy house.
• Learning: I'm passionate about learning new skills and interests, particularly ones that bring my partner joy. Do you love to ice skate? Carve wood? Study languages? Great, I'd love to learn!
• Patience: I'm happy to follow the woman's lead, take things slow, and not bring up sex or kink until she does.
• References: I can provide references from established members of the kink community.
• Research: I'm an extremely persistent and thorough researcher. I pride myself on being able to locate whatever someone's looking for.
• Writing: I have strong written communication skills. I can articulately and entertainingly express a range of ideas in personal, professional, and hobbyist contexts.
• Broadly, I'm highly organized, methodical, and attentive to detail. I can leverage these traits to benefit my partner in a variety of situations.
• I love lists, can you tell?

I'm conscientious about safety. I'm private about personal information until I get to know and trust someone. I don't post anything online that connects my vanilla identity to kink. If we decide to meet, I'll ask to do so in a public vanilla setting. (I'm happy for you to pick the location, and equally happy if you want me to offer possible locations.) Kinksters who know me consider me a safe and dependable play partner.

Kinks & Limits

I believe how someone wants to feel is more important than what specific kinky acts they want to do. For my part...

• I love feeling put in my place. I'm opinionated. I'm vocal. I love a partner who can listen to me extoll how great [Thing X] is, then confidently say, "Great, we're doing [Thing Y]."

• I love feeling controlled in my daily life. Following rules and restrictions outside the bedroom is like having an invisible security blanket draped around my shoulders.

• I love feeling cherished and valued, and like dominating me is a joy and privilege for my partner.

• I can enjoy other feelings like humiliation and fear--but those are the most essential.

Interests: Some of my interests include (in alphabetical order) chastity, collars/leashes, crossdressing, discipline, funishments, high heels, humiliation, impact, lifestyle rules and restrictions, orgasm control, pegging, physical bondage, psychological domination, tease/denial, rewards and punishments.

None of my interests are requirements in the least. I'm more interested in meeting someone personally compatible.

I'm open to most kinks that aren't limits. E.g., while rope play isn't on my list, if my partner's into it? Okay! Let's try it! I believe most activities (vanilla or kinky) are as enjoyable the people you do them with.

Limits: Ballbusting, findom/financial tributes, male nipple play, needles, rimming (giving), scat, taking NSFW pictures/videos of myself, urethral play, watersports.

Who I seek

The biggest thing I look for in a partner is mutual respect. I prefer partners who...

• ...are verbally eloquent
• ...are curious about the world and love to learn
• ...are respectful towards others
• ...are reliable during times of crisis
• ...follow through on commitments, even when inconvenient
• ...have a firm moral compass, and can make others go, "What would [Person] do? That's probably the right thing," during tough situations
• ...take care of their body and value their health

What I seek

I'm primarily interested in connections with people whose personalities are compatible with mine. Kink and D/s dynamics are desirable--but secondary.

• My ideal relationship is a long-term FLR/female-led relationship with a D/s component, where my partner and I are one another's primary partners. I'm open to monogamy or non-monogamy. The important thing is being one another's #1 priorities.

• A good relationship would check some but not all of those boxes with someone whose personality is compatible with mine. Maybe that's a casual play partner, maybe that's a relationship with someone already in a poly relationship--what our relationship could look like (and whether I'd continue pursuing my ideal one) is a discussion best had individually.

• Location: I desire an-person relationship. Someone in the greater Seattle area would be ideal--but I'm willing to start online with someone farther away. I'd want to visit in person, once we feel comfortable, and then discuss what to do from there.

If life is a journey, people are destinations. Maybe we'll be one another's dream homes. Maybe we'll be a lovely place to stay for a few years. Maybe we'll be ships passing in the night. More than anything else, I'm interested in meeting interesting people and seeing where things go.

Feel free to shoot me a line if you're interested in the same!