I've always had a peculiar knack for ending up in relationships that were laced with role reversal in various ways. Lots of random memories flash in my mind:

• Once I was making dinner while a girlfriend exclaimed, "Hey! You're cooking for me while wearing nothing but sexy underwear while I'm sitting on the couch being lazy scrolling the internet. This is a role reversal!"

• Once I was walking in San Francisco with a fairly dykey girlfriend and a guy exclaimed to his friend as they walked by, "That guy's girlfriend looks like his boyfriend!"

• I'm like a magnet for women who like being the big spoon, even if they're otherwise very feminine, relatively heteronormative, and way shorter than I am.

• I had a long-term straight and very submissive FWB who said she found being with me interesting because I was "feminine" in a way even though I was better at domming her harder than masculine, macho guys she'd been with.

• Ever since my teens, most of my friends have been women. People sometimes read me as gay.

• I've always loved softness and soft touch; I've had people mention years later that they still had vivid memories of how soft my touch was.

My last relationship was with someone who had very long hair. We ended up developing our own little ritual where I'd brush her hair and practice braiding it. One day I was brushing her hair and she started crying. "Are you OK?! Did I pull a hair?" I asked, concerned. "No," she said. "You're being so careful this is the most gentle anyone has ever treated me in my entire life. That's why I'm crying." I'd like to create more beautiful moments like that.

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I'm child-free, agnostic, mostly vegetarian, and try to stay fit as my metabolism is slowing down. I'm a city kid at heart but moved out to the country over a year ago as part of a Thoreau phase. I'm about 3/5 of the through my mid-life-crisis and it's going great! The pandemic era was rough on me; I had two creative businesses that were killed off. I took a break from life-as-it-was, shed some situations that weren't serving me well, and am proud of my resilience.

I love coffee, chess, Indian food, language learning, small details in general, and have gotten three different wild squirrels to eat out of my hand so far. (While I love animals, it should be noted that I'm not a dog person.) I bought a sea kayak last year and am infatuated with it still. I couldn't care less about sportsball and I've never personally owned a television. I'm very introverted in the Jungian sense, yet people usually exclaim disbelief when I declare this; I'm confident, charming, personable, and I find people fascinating—I just need to go be cozy and chill afterward to recharge. I've always related best with other introverts.

I'm a textbook ectomorph, have some facial hair grown out just enough to stay soft, and often get compliments on my personal style. While I can come across as just a tall scruffy guy, I've had both romantic partners and platonic friends describe me as a balanced mix of masculine and feminine. It's a vibe.

As for sexy things: although I have experience will all kinds of roles and am happy to do whatever to please a partner, I most naturally gravitate toward bottom roles. I find pegging just as natural as PIV sex and am experienced with it. While I did create this reddit profile for slightly NSFW/kinky interests, and can definitely get into some GFD stuff as is common here, I don't need any particular level of kink to be satisfied in a relationship; I just need someone who, like me, is about as non-heteronormative as you can be while still being heteromantic.

I am monogamous and, while very open-minded, not into polyamory. I'm a quality-over-quantity person in general and also just downright sappy when I'm into someone.

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What am I looking for? While intelligence is a sine qua non of attraction, I think kindness is the most important trait someone can have. I've had great relationships with people substantially older or younger and am fairly open-minded about most demographics. There are physical things I'm drawn to, yet reducing attraction to a list doesn't serve anyone and isn't realistic. I've been with very feminine women who others have described as having "a masculine intellect" and I've been with women who feel like being with a gay man in bed; anywhere along that spectrum can be good. In any case I relate best with those who feel a bit non-normative and are heavy on the yang like I'm heavy on the yin. Authenticity and a penchant for personal growth has been a common theme for everyone I'm close with.

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I have an elderly floof-potato that I'm crazy about; he basically rules my life now. Once he "goes off to college" I'll be much more free geographically. Right now I live between Madison and Chicago, also about an hour from Milwaukee; I travel to all those places somewhat regularly. Once I no longer have another creature to care for, I'm looking at making my life much more geographically flexible so I'm open to conversing with anyone from literally anywhere if we're a good match.

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One day I went to get coffee at a regular spot and was greeted by a barista I bantered with often. She asked me how my day was and I said, "Better now that I got to see your radiant face." (I'm not a flirt, I'm just really nice to everyone all the time.) She replied, "Damn, boy, you need a girlfriend. You just have so much love to give."

I think that holds true. Perhaps this ad will help me find a fellow weirdo whose day I could make.

If you resonated with my above ramblings, perhaps that weirdo is you.

In any case, thanks for reading this far and good luck in your own search!