I hesitated in making this post for a long while and... I’m still not sure it’s the right decision. Because I’m terrified. I am terrified, of being abused again, of a relationship not working out, of it being destructive to my life after I’m already invested in making it real. It might happen again. But I am not going to let that chance get in the way of finding someone to love.

———

Me: So I’m outgoing, bubbly, and introverted, make that one make sense, as well as creative- in a thousand different ways all in the moment. Still, I’m clumsy. Not physically clumsy, I’m really dextrous and nimble, but clumsy in the forgetful way, like I’ll pick my shoes up and take them to the bathroom, only to forget that I left them in there and start hunting for them when I get to the door and they aren’t there. Great for a 3am crisis, terrible for 7am coffee.

I cook well, I clean, I’m good with kids and I teach, those are the main household go-tos right? But I also read forms, have the patience to go through government documents, plan meals and cost effectivity ahead of time and improvise expertly.

I’m 5"8ish, with long seriously dirty blonde hair and boyish looks, good eyebrows and facial structure, slim and slightly weathered hands.

As for hobbies, I fly around like a bat from beyond going from writing to hiking to games, doing whatever other people are doing but just going through cycles of those three if left alone. I read a lot of different genres, with LOTR, 1984 and oddly enough "Worm” being really inspirational for me. It is hard to get me a bad birthday present, really it is. But if I had to say what catches me the most… it’s grand strategy. Anything with an overarching goal that hundreds of tiny things work toward. "Civilization" is a nice example.

———

You:

Sorry, sorry, I’ll stop blabbering on. Enough about me, I want to know more about you! No I’m not going to start talking about what I want you to do or be, I want you to tell me what you are!

What does RR mean to you?

Why do you want a RR relationship?

In what way do you live a RR lifestyle, if at all?

Do you have the drive to make a life like that for yourself? If not, do you think you would if the opportunity arrived?

Is a relationship equal?

Are you healthy enough, in body, spirit and mind, to not only comfort, but also challenge your partner and push them to do good, to work hard, to be the best that they possibly can?

What do you want out of this?

I don’t expect answers to all of these, please don’t worry if something comes across unclearly to begin with… but at least consider them, because those are near and dear to me.

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Ending note:

There’s no way you can get to know someone deeply through a single text however big, so I’ve just tried to capture as much of myself as I can in this short space of time.

Love you all, and some more already

💝