Like, this place is great, and I've come across some cool people through it, but it has also put my mind in a very bad place. Being a guy that has always had a lot of trouble when it comes to my social and love life (even now that I am doing much better than I used to, thanks to the help I have received through therapy, and to my new job, I have few friends and I am approaching 30 without having ever dated anyone) I have always been aware of my failures, and places like this one, looking at the cute shit on here is like looking at other people while knowing I will never have what they have.

Even when I told one of the friends mentioned above that from time to time I feel so alone my skin feels like it's itching for a fix, they did not believe me, and when the guys on the Discord servers talk about hanging out with each other or about their successful love life, I almost want to hurt them out of envy and spite, and I know it's fucked and wrong.

I don't want to feel like this, but I don't know what else I can do, aside from what I have done already. I just want cute things to happen to me every once in a while, to lighten up my drab, grey life and make me want to go forward despite it all, but I feel like an useless cog in an useless machine right now and I'm freaking the fuck out.

Sorry for the rant, I just... feel like I'm turning into a monster.