"I used to climb with a guy in college who thrashed around on V9s and v10s exclusively, and he had no business on them. He could only V6, and I never saw him do anything above it. I never understood why he apparently liked failing so much, day after day, year after year, and didn’t just climb stuff at his level and taste success now and again. 

I’d also like to be very clear - I was guilty of the same strategy, which, in part, was the reason it caught my attention.

It took me a while to realize he was afraid of knowing his real limit, because, if he found it, he’d have nowhere else to go other than to admit it, and admitting it wasn’t an option since his self-image, of someone who climbed such and such a grade, was so engrained in his being that if you took it away, the house of cards would fall. His fear of finding his limit, of course, was also a function of how others perceived him - aka FOPO, fear of other people’s opinions.

FOPO is one of the most noxious and elusive weeds in the climber’s mental garden. As a lifelong climber and gardener of the mind, I’m going to give you a bit of truth on managing FOPO and tell you that there is a silver bullet…except it’s hard to polish the silver. And it takes a while. It also may not be for everyone."

keeps going here...
https://www.strongmindclimbing.com/news-resources/fear-of-other-peoples-opinions