Okay, so I posted this in the Evil Dead subreddit, but since Robocop is still a protagonist I want to post it here.

Ash is at work, telling his stories, when some kids overhear he has the Necronomicon locked up. The kids steal the Necronomicon, and Ash finds out. But during the struggle to get it back, Ash gets thrown into the future.

Cut to the future, where Robocop is being unearthed after years of being in storage. Murphy is obviously pissed, but is charged with the important mission of bringing in a T-800 (which shouldn't exist) before it can do anything to restart Skynet or whatever it wants. However, Murphy ends up apprehending Ash Williams while Ash is running around with a chainsaw and shotgun, but is bailed out by a relative of John Connor. Eventually Murphy learns that the Terminator has been hunting for the last known Lament Configuration, which brings him back into conflict with Ash, who is working with John Connor's relative to find both the Lament Configuration and the Necronomicon.

Meanwhile, we cut to some kid on a space vessel playing a neighborhood simulator called Elm Street through VR when the captain has them suit up in their space suit for some maintenance before re-entering Earth's atmosphere. Some odd particles land on his helmet, but before he can ponder what they are he sees a Predator's ship decloak. He gets inside and hides in his cabin, but then some of the Predators board and gun down most of the crew down. The kid fears he may be next, but suddenly hears a struggle, followed by silence. And then acid drips through the vent above.

The spaceship makes an emergency landing while the crew left in the Predator ship makes a stealthy landing. As it turns out the ship had an emergency android hidden away in case the human pilot died. The kid is hospitalized, along with any surviving human members of the crew. A few of the humans hatch chest-bursters, killing the doctors at the hospital. The kid, however, changes into something else: Jason X.

As Ash and Murphy find leads, Ash can't help but complain over how bored he is. This changes when, from out of the blue, Jason X starts killing people. Thinking Jason is a deadite, Ash engages Jason X in combat. He gets tossed aside and injured, although Murphy has better luck driving Jason X away. While alone, Jason X starts having headaches, and a kill-counter appears onscreen in his head. He then finds some kids playing Elm Street and kills them, adding them to his kill-count. This becomes his new mission going forward.

After Ash gets some futuristic upgrades, John Connor's descendant finds them a promising lead. This is interrupted by the appearance of deadites who, mid-fight, give birth to chest-bursters, which in turn grow into xenomorph-deadite hybrids. The Predators team up with Ash and Murphy to fend off the hybrids, but even then they only win by the skin of their teeth.

At last Ash, Murphy, some Predators, and whoever else made it find where the Necronomicon and Lament Configuration are being kept. They get apprehended by yet more hybrids, at which point we learn they are being commanded by none other than a heavily-decayed Chuckie. Yes, Chuckie managed to live long enough to become a collector of cursed artifacts, and has been biding his time researching how to regain his body while also gaining the power needed to take over the world. What's more, Chuckie decides to take Ash's body, since Ash poses the biggest threat to his deadite army. Luckily the T-800 bursts in to save the day, and just as Chuckie is about to be apprehended, Jason X arrives. Jason X kills Chuckie before swiping the Necronomicon and tossing the Lament Configuration to, of all people, John Connor's relative (who ends up there somehow). Jason X flees, and the party pursues.

When they find Jason X, he's reading the Necronomicon at Chuckie's computer (yes Chuckie has a desktop, yes he uses a stack of books to reach the keyboard). To everyone's surprise, Jason X plugs a finger into the computer, causing the screen to flash red. All machines appear to go haywire, including the T-800, and Murphy starts hallucinating his death. John Connor's relative starts laughing maniacally. In a one-two twist, his body converts to metallic liquid as he shapes himself into his true form: Freddy Krueger.

The full truth is then revealed: this is the day the remnants of Skynet are taken over by Freddy Krueger. At some point in the past, Freddy became so weak that he needed to find new ways to keep himself alive, and this resulted in the Elm Street VR game. However, because the kid on the spaceship made unexpected contact with Jason X's nanomachines, Freddy used Jason X to harvest souls more directly (as opposed to slowly killing people, which is implied throughout the crossover), which in turn allows Freddy to gain power and broaden his technomancy skills. The T-800, it turns out, wasn't his doing, but was sent by the few survivors of Freddynet's rule to stop him (unfortunately no one bothered to listen to the T-800, since the whole Skynet thing became declassified centuries ago). Freddy then reveals why he wanted the Lament Configuration: namely, to summon the forces of Hell to reign in the xenomorph-deadite hybrids, which tend not to dream and have a bad habit of eating anything with a soul. Using Skynet's time-travel capabilities and quantum computing, Freddy integrates the Lament Configuration into his T-1000 body and solves it in seconds, which opens a portal to Hell.

I have no idea how to end this monster of an epic. Someone help. Or buy the rights to this story and pay me money.