I'm in my last year of anesthesiology residency looking for my first attending job. I'm 28 years old, married, no children yet but I want three so I'd like to start trying soon. None of the jobs in the area I'm looking in offer any semblance of maternity leave. You get 6-8 weeks unpaid disability leave or 12 weeks protected unpaid fmla if you've been with the employer for at least a year. That's fine, I can save money for unpaid leave. But I will return to a high stress job taking call with a 3 month old at home (that would need daycare or full time nanny), dealing with pumping between cases and sleep deprivation beyond what I already deal with from call.

On top of that, I would have a newborn at home while trying to study and take the oral boards. Delaying child bearing is not really an option for us right now as we'd like to have 3 children.

I understand these are all "future" concerns and no one knows what could happen, but I'm worried. I feel like I have no one in my corner. My husband is amazing, he works frome home, full time but actually amounts to 20 hours a week of work. He does a lot around the house. But he doesn't understand this type of exhaustion and sleep deprivation, demands of work, the stress of what a baby would add. My biggest inspiration was my lovely amazing mother who was also an anesthesiologist, working hard and taking call with three kids, but she passed away earlier this year and I feel lost without her. None of the other women in my life (MIL, aunts, cousins, friends etc) have a similar lifestyle. They WFH or part time in less demanding fields. When I make it to the other end of this I want my children to look at me and feel like women can do anything but right now I don't know how much I can do lol

Anyway this is just a vent and hoping to collect some positive stories from you amazing mamas that are kicking butt. I hear so much about pregnancy being so exhausting you can't work, about "pregnancy brain" not being able to think or study, and kissing sleep goodbye with a baby. I know I also have the option to take a less demanding position (no calls, part time etc) but I have 300k in loans and we live in a HCOL area. The plan would eventually be to cut back but I'm not sure if I can "cut back" right off the bat lol.

Anyway. Thanks for listening.