Long term Partner with child (F29) sent inviting (couldn't think of better word) bra photo to (F21) work friend. Partner has explained this as an ongoing work/inside joke thing. There has been an instance in the past where something similar had occurred with a previous female work colleague that turned into borderline feelings/ emotional attachment (didn't truly find out to what extent) but eventually turned out to be the other person craving attention and felt good by someone doing the chase. My partner ending up looking to be manipulated in the whole thing. I don't know whether my partner may feel a need of acceptance by having a cheeky workfriend/snap chat laugh or whether something else might be going on even if it's subconsciously. I have an awful gut feeling. Our relationship has been a bit rocky the passed few months and when I've raised concerns about issues from a place or care/support to work through the problem, her reaction is with pure anger. She says quite often that it's not the relationship and that she's just overwhelmed with work/life and she has her own issues to deal with but at the same time doesn't want to discuss and take responsibility for how she regulates her emotions. We have an understanding of sharing the dinner, bath and bed routine which I more than often take on extra nights of the week to try and give her back a bit of time that she feels she doesn't have. I contribute fairly to housework as well as work a little over full time hours per week. I'm stuck and a bit confused on how to deal and work through this? Is it normal or selfish to have needs and boundaries and as much as you love someone and want to support them, you feel like you're sacrificing your own mental health and happiness by staying?