Just a warning, this one involves the Netflix series The Keepers, so keep in mind for both spoilers and potentially triggering subjects.

So I am Catholic, but have always been a firm believer in reincarnation because of many experiences in my life involving myself, my father, and my grandfather's family. I'll detail them in another post if people are interested, but needless to say, I have an open mind about these sort of things.

So I had a very creepy experience watching The Keepers that made me question what happens when a wicked soul dies. Feel free to think I'm crazy, hell, I barely believe my own mind. When a picture of one of the priests was shown, the name Magnus popped into my head, and how his first name had started with E, but he didn't go by that. Sure enough, it was said that the priest's name was E. Neil Magnus a little while later. He died in 1988 and I was born 2 years later. That picture was like looking into a mirror for me, like I had seen that face every day of my life. I was really creeped out considering the man was a sadistic rapist who used his position to rape teenage girls and I thought of stopping right then and there. But as I continued watching the episodes, there was this great sense of sorrow and shame that came over me that was much more intense than just what someone watching a documentary should feel. I kept thinking over and over again "I deserved what happened", but then I'd tell myself, "I didn't do anything." Not in this life anyway.

There's no information on how he died or what from, but I remember seeing speculation somewhere it might have been AIDS, since he was so young, and it was of an unspecified illness, which the church of course would have covered up. It might explain why I kept thinking I deserved some form of punishment.

I thought about going to a hypnosis session to see if I could find out more, but something inside me keeps asking, 'Do you really want to know what you did?' And what would I do? Even assuming the women who were abused believed me, it's not like you can give an apology for something that heinous part of you did in a past life. Words are trite and meaningless when a crime of that magnitude has been committed.