I am a firm believer in safewords, though in saying that I absolutely hate it when I use it. It makes me feel guilty and like I've failed. I know logically the reason for having it and using it when needed but it still feels like a failure. So much so that the last time I used it I had to walk away and be by myself when usually I need aftercare.

On the flip side of that when I'm dominant and my submissive calls the safeword I can't help but feel the same guilt and failure. I've let them down somehow. I went to far when I should have pulled back or a thousand other different reasons run through my mind.

So my question is, if you have this issue, how do you get over the guilt and fear of failure when a safeword has been used?