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I've made the classic mistake of staying in a vanilla relationship thinking that I could ignore my kinky side.
You've heard it all before so; what is kinkyness?
Kinkyness seems to be a core need for most people so inclined and whether you are kinky or vanilla seems to get decided early in most people's lives. It definitely feels like a "core need" for me, but it could be something else.
Personally, I don't classify it as a need, but rather a medium through which needs are met.
I need food. I don't need to raise my own meat and dairy, but because of my values, preferences, and sense of self, I do so. I could be just as nourished buying eggs and milk and meat at the store, but it wouldn't be as fun or rewarding for me to do so.
Same goes for kink. There are several needs in the belonging, esteem, and self-actualization portions of Maslow's hierarchy which I meet through kink. I can and do meet those same needs in other ways, and could probably continue to meet them without being kinky. But I like meeting those needs in part through kink, and find it personally fulfilling to do so.
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- 3 years ago
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