This is my reply to a comments on my previous post I wanted to make it into its own post because if this happens to me I know it's happened to other people and maybe this words will help you realise what's happening and you can put a stop to it if you want to:

Fantastic reply thank you.

What Irocks said yesterday really brought me back to Earth and instantly gave me insight into what was going on and gave me a reality check.

I have come to the realization that I was most definitely spiraling into an addiction I have ADHD and the dopamine rush of getting compliments and feedback from my photos turning men on it was such a thrill and I was indulging in it without any moderation whatsoever

irocks' reply pulled me out of it and I'm so glad that I made that post and that someone recognised what was going on and put me straight

if I could freeze time and indulge in the pleasures of sexting that would be great but no one can stop time and for the last three weeks that time was steadily increasing and those minutes had to be borrowed from other parts of my life

I think it was only a matter of time that I was going to start taking risks in the physical world - i.e.leaping headlong into meeting someone without doing the necessary checks and balances - it could have ended very badly

I did meet someone in real life from Reddit a fee weeks ago I was only supposed to go around for a cup of tea so that we could see each other in person and see if we wanted to go ahead and be fuck buddies

Although I had an incredible and passionate night my boundaries just kept getting pushed and pushed and pushed that cup of tea turned into hot and heavy making out and we ended up going to third base

I just couldn't stop myself I got so caught up in The Passion. After being touch starved for so long and all of a sudden being in this incredibly erotic situation I lost almost all control and I think if it wasn't for the fact that I wasn't "sex ready" I could have gone all the way.

I am proud of my low body count and I want every man that I allow inside me to be special to me. For some women, like me, once you take that last step with someone they end up on The List. I want to be able to look back at that list with fondness I don't want it to be a roster of nameless barely remembered faces.

So far each encounter I have had that has gone all the way has been pleasurable. A couple may have ended in heartbreak but that's the way the cookie crumbles I guess. I'm almost certain if I had kept going down this path that I was on up until yesterday things could have taken a very dark turn.

Things were ramping up dramatically, I was becoming insatiable.irocks if you see this thank you your comment really pulled me out of this spiral and gave me clarity.

I'm going to make this into a separate post I hope it's strikes a chord with some people and is helpful.