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So my ex husband and I had a horrible relationship, he was abusive, a misogynist and made me worthless. My husband now is in every way the opposite, loving, affirming, kind, considerate and a giving lover in bed. The only thing my ex has over my husband was a much bigger cock. Even when he was being selfish in bed he made me cum like no other. Over the years I have adjusted to the change but some part of me misses that old bastard. I can explain the missing his dick but not the abuse. Some tell me its a alpha thing, maybe its self loathing, idk, but every so often I’ll excuse myself from my home and go out at night, park by his house and rub myself to imagining giving myself to him. In my fantasy he’s still hitting me (messed up, I know) but it still makes me cum. Sometimes I almost text him a nude but stop myself just in time to cum. I love my husband but this has become an addiction and I can’t stop myself lately.
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