I'm (F) absolutely obsessed with one of my gamer friends (M). He has no idea. And I'm going insane.

It started out just liking his personality and voice, and thinking he was neat in a gaming community I'm a part of. Then one day he posted "does anyone play (game)?" and of course I immediately bought it.

Cue... 100 hours playing together, almost entirely alone.

I'm absolutely obsessed. Every day I either play with him or wish I could. His voice gives me ASMR chills. And lately it's been getting, like...completely inappropriately sexual. Just on my end, and just in secret. I have no idea what he looks like. I barely know him, we mostly just talk about games. I absolutely do not care.

His voice makes my whole body hot. My heart races when we're playing games. I think about him when I'm falling asleep. And now when I masturbate I think about him. I try not to, it feels violating to him to do this without his knowledge?! But I can't seem to help it? And I obviously am not just going to tell him!!

Anyways, just now, I'm using a glass dildo and can't cum. And he crosses my mind. And I start masturbating like...furiously. My whole body is vibrating. I can hear his voice in my head. I cum so fucking hard and then burst into tears, because none of the horny is gone, I'm shaking all over and the need is as bad as ever. I can't have him. He's just an internet friend! I'm too shy to tell him I like him, let alone....this.

I have no idea what to do. So I guess I'll just...be quietly obsessed and frustrated and half insane with want until it goes away? Fuck. It gets worse every day.

What do I do?