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Do women shame each other for making effort?
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Potentially controversial topic!

I’ve noticed a trend recently, either online or IRL, where women seem to shame eachother for making effort. Effort might include putting on makeup everyday, keeping a tidy/clean house, cooking every night. Comments like “omg I could never be bothered to put makeup on every day” or “you cook every night? hell no lol”. I recently went to a friends house for a bday party and she has two small children. She’s quite house proud and her place always looks lovely. Someone commented “omg this house doesn’t even look lived in lol” then they told her she was foolish for having white couches and she’s like “really? I just take the slip off weekly and wash it”. My husband and I are yet to become parents (currently trying!) but I get the impression that this becomes worse once kids are involved.

If I shamed someone for looking sloppy and not putting any effort into their appearance imagine the lash back.

Is this a new thing? Or has this always been around? Thoughts?

xo

Comments

Oh boy do I feel this post! It’s almost as if my friends take pleasure when I’m frumpy and my house is unkempt. They certainly jump at the opportunity to let me know “wow who are you trying to impress today?” If I put on jeans instead of sweats.

I make dinner for my family every night and when I share this info with a group in conversation, without fail, I’ll get someone responding- “my husband does all the cooking in my house, I would never cook every night. He waits on me!”

It doesn’t change when you have kids (hasn’t for me anyway). The divide gets larger because there is more contrast in the messes, and people are probably more resentful when you present a certain way that looks like you got your shit together! Especially in an area they are insecure about.

Anyway, for me, it’s mostly around traditional housewife roles and appearances. I just let it roll off the best I can

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Totally! Well the same people who say their men do all the cooking also have issues. For example- one of the girls husbands who said that, plays video games all night and is a heavy drinker. He cooks dinner to overcompensate and to avoid Lecture. I’d much prefer my situation :)

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4 years ago