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[F][poem][daft][innuendoes][for blue Monday] My Dear Hot Water Bottle
Author Summary
RecycledRose is a female in for blue Monday
Post Body

Here’s my voice

Here’s the text :D

My Dear hot water bottle

Please comfort me again;

Tonight’s another lonely one

Isolated from all the men.

I fancied one, from a film tonight,

I can only dream of him.

I wish I had his number,

But it too late at night to ring.

Some nights you’re my ONLY company,

Some nights my feet are icy,

When I got in this bed all chilled

You warmed my nighty, nicely.

I could pretend you’re a fluffy pet

To squeeze and stroke and kiss and yet

if the nights a freezing one

I might just hold you right against my bum!

The fact I’m on my own each night,

Means my heart is full of yearning.

The fluffy jacket round your heat

Stops any chance of burning.

Perhaps tonight you’ll take the place

Of a cuddly hairy chest..

To warm my face, but when I lay like this,

mine’s gone east and west.

Well I can lay and imagine some giggly goings-on,

Of tickling beards and things to grip,

And stroke, when I am clinging on.

A warmer room mate than this lump

Of gurgling and hot water,

But what with Covid all about,

You take up just a quarter

Of the room a lanky, long-legged man

Or lumpy one, with muscles

Some man with knees and knobbly bits

Who only wants to cup my ....er Wrist

Or try to calm my thinking.

As long as I don’t dream of boats

And worry that I’m sinking.

Ooohhh...

Perhaps a swarthy pirates mate?

With a little bit of fishing bait

A great BIG ..hook, like in Peter Pan!

But not a boy, I want a man.

A wrestler might be the best of course

To get the covers warmer,

To know the right positions

....For the bed’s right up the corner.

I could pretend the faux fur’s a pet

A cat or fluffy dog,

By my side as I read my book

Till I’m sleeping like a log.

I curl up in a bundle

And try to stop the drafts,

But the duvet’s thick and springs undone

and that’s bound to make them laugh.

...

What man will I attract next year?

To snuggle under blankets

A funny one? who sings me songs?

and never needs to .....

I’ll tuck him in

So he can’t fall out

And happily embrace him

And never shout or moan again

how long I’ve been without it.

Ahem

But for tonight you’ll have to do!

With water from the kettle

The beds well sprung,

Out with the light. It’s time to really settle.

The doctor said ‘get ‘good nights rest’

I better follow orders.

Though a spooning man (with a bit of luck)

Might also trim my borders.

Oh hot water bottle-the tales

that you could tell!

Of shenanigans-at night,

I wish I’d got a great big one!

Or one that’s hot all night.

I feel I must contemplate my fate,

Before I turn left to right,

I must heed the warning label

That says ‘Make sure your bung’s in tight!’

By RecycledRose xx

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Posted
3 years ago